Tag Archive: Kurt Russell


Escape From L.A. (1996)

Escape_From_LA

In the sequel to 1981’s Escape for New York, we find our antihero Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell)  trying to escape from yet another post-apocalyptic mega city, this time it’s the City of Angles.  LA has become a penal colony after an earthquake turned it into an island, and is now only inhabited by the dregs of society.  Gun-for-hire Snake, winds up getting shipped off there after being captured by the Feds, but they have a deal for him: find a doomsday weapon that the president’s rebel daughter stole and we might give you the antidote to the deadly virus we just injected you with.  With no other choice he travels to the island in search of the weapon, now in the hands or the terrorist Cuervo Jones.

It isn’t going to be as easy as just going up to the guy and asking nicely, he is going to have to perform some off the wall and highly impractical feats to even get near the guy.  Snake will have to surf a 100 foot wave, escape from a group of plastic surgery addicts, shoot some hoops for his life and also hang-glide from Hollywood to Disneyland.  Once the mission is a success, he’s a little peeved at how the government used him (again), and decides to use the super-weapon against them.

Alex’s Thoughts:  What this movie lacks in quality it make up for in sheer awfulness. Wait… no… that’s sounds about right.  While John Carpenter’s previous movie was sort of charming and inventive it in’s own low-budget way, this one copies the exact same premise but without any of the charm, it’s just bad, and seems like it was just a cash grab flick.   While I do like Kurt Russell, he didn’t look to be giving it his best, and seemed like his best physical acting days were behind him.  With awful dialog, poorly choreographed fight scenes and low-rate special effects, it is easy to forget about this movie.  Its one redeeming quality is that it has Bruce Campbell in what could have been a great role as the Surgeon General of Beverly Hills, but it was totally underutilized.  If you need a good escape flick, you might want to check out Lockout instead.  Alex Rates This Movie 3/10.

Tim’s Thoughts: Oh, I want to like this so badly, every few years I will even go back to give it another shot, but it’s soooooo awful. There is nothing good about this, nothing at all. It’s a waste of time, and a sign that Carpenter’s good years were way behind him. I don’t know what else to say other than that the effects are so terrible that I can barely sit through it. MST3K would destroy this, and then like Pod People or Mitchell it could become a favorite. Until that happens, avoid this dumpster fire at all costs. Tim Rates This Movie 1/10

Cuevo Jones

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

Aye Aye, Captain

Captain Ron (1992)

Martin (Martin Short) needs a bit of a pick-me-up, he’s sort of feeling stuck in his job and at home.  Luckily his uncle just died.  While that would be sad news for most people, Martin hadn’t seen him in 25-years AND his uncle left him his 60 foot sail boat that used to belong to Clark Gable.  It’s worth a crap load of cash, but they need to get it from a small island in the Caribbean to Miami.  This kills two birds with one stone: it allows them to have a fun exciting vacation and pay off all of their debt.  The only problem is that they don’t know how to sail.  Enter Captain Ron.  This macho version of Jack Sparrow is a great skipper, but sort of rough around the edges with his care-free life style.

On their way to Miami, many mis-adventures ensue; with run-ins with pirates, armed guerrillas, dry rot, sailing lessons and that Ron is always trying to bone Martin’s wife and/or daughter.  Ron saves the day on more than one occasion, despite appearing borderline retarded most of the time and always pissing off his boss.  This scurvy dog brings this once distant family back together and we all share in some laughs.

Alex’s Thoughts:  I have always loved this movie, which is strange, because I so very much dislike Martin Short (with the exception of his guest-staring role as ‘Uncle Jack on Arrested Development’).  I guess my love for Kurt Russell more than makes up for it.  I still find myself smiling at the same parts I did when I was a kid, and to me, this holds up really well.  It’s just a goofy comedy and I think most people would get a kick out of it.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10 

Tim’s Thoughts: I am going to say that this is not for everyone, but if you like either Russell or Short, then you will be just fine. I happen to like both, so Captain Ron is a lot of fun for me. There is nothing deep here, it’s just a goofy over the top comedy, and you can watch Russell have as much fun here as he did in Big Trouble Little China.  A word of advice, any time Kurt Russell is in a comedy, you need to check it out, at least once. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

Used Cars (review recommended by readers Julia & David)

Release Date: 7/11/1980 – Rated R

Starring: Kurt Russell (Big Trouble In Little China)

Plot Summary:  Kurt Russell plays Rudy Russo, a stereotypical sleeze-ball used car salesman.  Junkers, rolled-back odometers, stolen cars and lies are what he deals in on  a daily basis; much to the chagrin of the lot’s owner, Luke Fuchs.  Luke doesn’t really approve of Rudy’s tactics, but he brings in the money, so he looks the other way.  Rudy has a dream to be the sleaziest he can be, and that means being a US Senator; all he needs is another $10k to buy the nomination, and Luke says he will give him the money in the morning.  The only problem is that Luke’s twin brother Roy, who wants the car lot for himself, induces a stroke by sending a goon over there to take him on a wild test drive. To keep the lot from falling into his evil brother’s hands, Roy and his coworkers hide Luke’s body, and sell the hell out of some cars. Including hacking TV signals to broadcast illegal commercials. the competing lots continue to pull pranks to try to out do each other, as wacky hijinks ensue.  All is going well until Luke’s long-lost daughter shows up to meet her estranged father. This builds up to a nice climax which needs to be seen to believed. Just remember “These prices are too damn high!”

Alex’s Thoughts:  I can’t believe I had never seen this, or even heard of this until it was recommended that we review it.  This was a pretty funny film, and I’m glad I saw it; Kurt Russell gets to flex his comedic chops, and that is never a bad thing.  There were quite a few funny scenes as well as some great sight gags.  I would recommend this to any 80’s comedy fan, or just anyone who wants to watch a funny and entertaining movie.

Tim’s Thoughts: I was shocked that I hadn’t seen this movie, I couldn’t believe how damn funny it was, and that I’d never heard of it. Now I am going to be recommending this to just about anybody who likes 80’s comedies, or Kurt Russell. The pirate radio commercials are almost as funny as the tricks they use to sell cars, so I say rent this soon, and check it out.

Final Thoughts:  We both like it, and want to thanks our readers who recommended it to us.  Sometimes this works the opposite of what we intended – we were hoping to bring some lesser known titles to your attention that we hope you’d like, but we have gotten a few requests and were really happy with the results.  So thanks again, and we think most people would really enjoy this one.

Alex Rates This Movie 8/10

Tim Rates This Movie 9/10

 “I saw the car over there in flames and all these strange little characters, you know, with towels on their heads, weird little goatees and stuff, running around yelling: “Ayatollah, Ayatollah.” Then they all got in a car and drove away. I guess it was Iranian students out to discredit the American way of life. I can’t imagine who else would do such a thing. ”

View the IMDB entry from this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue