Adventures In Cosplaying – by Alex

Until last year’s Wizard World Chicago, I had never really had any interest in cosplaying. The idea of dressing up and having people ask you for pictures all day wasn’t really appealing; after all, there are c-list celebrities to gawk at. Worse yet, what if I spent the time and money on a costume and it was so awful no one would know who I was supposed to be dressed as?   I’d noticed that there were a lot of people in costumes that were either fantastic or, to be polite, NOT fantastic.  While I wanted so badly to judge them, I just couldn’t; they were passionate about something and were trying to show the world.  I felt like I needed to look at things through their eyes for a change, so I decided that C2E2 2013 was going to be my cosplay debut and I would see what life was like as a costumed player. But like any sassy young lady, I looked in the mirror and wondered… ‘what to wear’?  I wanted something geeky, TV or movie related and unique.  Some girls might be fine dressing as Harley Quinn, or guys wanting to dress as Spidey still knowing that there will be dozens of others dressed the same way, but that’s not me.  As a huge Firefly fan, I thought that something from that fandom would be something fun to do, and decided on dressing as an Alliance EMT from the Ariel episode. That was geeky enough where fans would know it, but obscure enough where I didn’t think anyone else would be wearing the same thing.  After amassing the required supplies, I ended up with a finished near-screen-accurate costume. It wasn’t too shabby if you ask me.

The day of the con had come, and after having my friend Shaun join me in a matching costume, we head to the back of the queue to get in.  It isn’t long before we see a guy across the room dressed like Malcolm Reynolds who gives us an excited smile and an approving nod.  Over the course of the day, there were lots of people who recognized the costume and asked for pictures, and some who had no idea who we were supposed to be, but still asked us for pics because they appreciated the effort we put in to out costumes.  While that was exciting, the comments we got from the hardcore fans were the best; things like “where can I get a costume like that” to “that is so perfect” were heard more than once. A knight from the Medieval Times booth had one of my favorite comments; while still in character he asked – “How fares life in the Core planets, space travelers? I hear Ariel is beautiful this time of year.” While that was near perfect, a simple two-word acknowledgement made everything worth it, when a guy smiled at us and simply said “keep flying”, the motto of Browncoats the world round.

I now feel a bit of a connection to the guy dressed like the Ninth Doctor, or the girl wearing a Dark Phoenix costume or one of the Stormtroopers of the 501^st Legion. I flaunted what I loved for the whole world to see. I let my geek flag fly high and proud, and it might have been the most fun I have ever had at a con.  For 98% of the people who cosplay, it isn’t about showing off your sewing skills or trying to get attention from strangers, It‘s showing those strangers that you are passionate about something, and hopefully they can appreciate it. If not, so what? You keep on doing what any passionate fan does: you keep flying.

Korean Mutant Fish Monster: The Movie

The Host (2006)

As we open on an Army hospital, a doctor (The Walking Dead’s Hershel of all people) is telling an orderly to pour a bunch of toxic chemicals down the drain, despite the fact that it will pollute the river.  The doctor asks “what’s the worse that could happen”?

Gang-Doo works with his father at a food stand in a park on the banks of the Han River. Gang-Doo isn’t quite right in the head, but wants to do right by his daughter.  One day out of the blue, a huge fish monster pops out of the river and starts eating people and trashing the place.  Gang-Doo is unable to protect his daughter and she is snatched away. The government is sure this beast carries some sort of virus so the town is locked down, and all those who have come in contact with the monster are quarantined; this includes Gang-Doo, his father, sister and brother.  While in the hospital Gang-Doo gets a call from his daughter saying that she is in a sewer somewhere, and the monster is saving her to eat later.  The family escapes from the hospital, and are on the run from the army as they desperately seek out Gang-Doo’s daughter to try and find her and not be devoured by a fish monster.

Alex’s Thoughts: The last few Korean movie I’ve watched have been some of the best I’ve ever seen. Shame on me for thinking they’re all good. Not that this is awful, but it’s only a little better than the SyFy mutant monster movie of the week.  I found that I didn’t really care if any of the characters lived or not, and was actually routing for the monster most of the time.  The CG was fine at times, but was downright awful at others.  The acting also switched between decent and corny at parts.  If you like Godzilla-type flicks you might like this, might hate it. Alex Rates This Movie 4/10

Tim’s Thoughts:

Redeeming Qualities

The Raid: Redemption (2011)

A specialized SWAT team is preparing to take down a crime boss who is holed-up at the top of an apartment building.  They gain entry to the building and go room by room and floor by floor securing the building and trying up anyone they find along the way.  They don’t get much resistance until they get to the sixth floor, that is when the lights go out and a voice is heard throughout the building’s PA system. That voice belongs to the crime boss, and he offers a reward to anyone who can kill some of these cops.  The commanding officer asks his lieutenant to send backup, but he refuses since this operation is off the books and classified.  They are on their own.

It isn’t long before the SWAT team is decimated and only a few survivors remain.  It will be up to our hero Rama to take on hundreds of thugs and work his way to the top floor to complete his mission.  He ditches his guns in favor of a knife in order to do a little wet work, but he isn’t above using his feet and fists when needed.  All sorts of ass is kicked on his way up, and he takes a beating himself, but soon the tables will turn and a dastardly plot is revealed, but he receives some help from an unlikely source.

Alex’s Thoughts: I went into this not knowing anything, just that Netflix recommend that I watch it, which isn’t always a good sign based on all of the crap I see.  A couple other sites said it was good, so I decided to try it out, and was not disappointed.  It is a good old fashioned action movie like I grew up with in the 80’s: lots of fighting, lots of shooting and special effects kept down to a minimum.  There are a few fight scenes that are over the top, and I found myself laughing out loud, but it adds to the fun of it all.  The only issue that I have is, while the fights are really well choreographed, they are a little too obviously choreographed.  I know that’s just because they are so complex, but it doesn’t look very natural.  other than that, I loved it. It was a good story, with decent acting and much ass was kicked.  Guys who like action movies will love it.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This is easily one of the best action movies I have seen in recent memory. All of the fight scenes are so much fun and the director is bold, there are very few quick cuts, and most of the action takes place during long takes. There are very few obvious special effects and I  can’t remember a point where it looked like wire work was used. I kept laughing out loud at how crazy the fights got, and I was genuinely excited consistently throughout this entire movie. After sitting through some clunkers, it is refreshing to see something this much fun. I have been recommending to people I talk to, and I will continue to do so. Probably the most fulfilling  action movie in the last 10 years.  Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue.

Wedding Bell = Hell’s Bells

[.REC] 3: Genesis

We open, as with the two previous REC movies, with the perspective of looking through a camcorder. Instead of being at the Spanish apartment building from the first two films, we are now watching an upscale wedding. The first twenty minutes or so is your typical wedding stuff: vows, kiss, reception, cake, dancing and all that jazz.  Pretty normal things… until the groom’s uncle falls off the balcony into the gift table.  He soon pops right up and bites into another guest, then the outbreak begins anew; and we switch from the camera view, to a traditional movie style.

The bride and groom become separated, and join up with different groups of survivors to attempt to find each other throughout the course of the film.  One of the groups has a priest in it who discovers that reading from the bible keeps the infected at bay.  In the previous movies it was revealed that the outbreaks are caused by someone getting blood from a possessed person, so that makes sense.  They both go through hell, but are eventually reunited only to find that the reception grounds have been sealed off by the government, and no one is allowed out.  If they leave they will be shot, if they stay they will be eaten. What to do?

Alex’s Thoughts:  I really enjoyed the two previous movies, even with all the shaky camera work. They are legitimately scary, not like the American rip-off Quarantine series.  I did like the transition to a normal filming style once the camera man was dead, but the sense of personal fear was lost, and you weren’t experiencing this outbreak first hand anymore.  The bride was probably the best of the cast, especially when she was sick of monsters ruining her big day, and starts to wield a chainsaw against them.  There were some inconsistencies with the infected, in that they were ‘fast zombies’ before, and now they sort of lumber around and are only quick when the story calls for it.  It didn’t depend on or reference the first movies (other than a news clip in the background of one scene), so you didn’t have to see those to enjoy this. Fans of REC will still like this one, as will other zombie fans.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10

Tim’s Thoughts: .REC continues to make me happy. This is a solid third entry into a trilogy that should have no steam left, but instead we get not only an excellent zombie movie, but a funny one too. The zombie uncle may be my favorite of the entire movie, he has the best facial expression. I like that they have moved on to standard movie cameras, but didn’t lose their edge. They are willing to kill everyone at any time. It’s the kind of film making that I respect, and they do some nice things with reflections as well. As a series they continue to add small things as they continue to up the ante, I don’t know if they are making a part four, but if they do, I will be here, happy to review it. Tim Rates This Movie 9/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

Welcome To The Freakshow

Taxidermia (2006)

Morosgoványi is a private serving at a rural Hungarian house, occupied by an officer and his family, in WWII. He lives in a shack with the pigs and spends most of his free time having dirty thoughts about the luitenant’s girls, playing with himself or shooting flames out of the end of his dong. That’s right. That’s the only reason we wanted to see this, and it is glorious!  The Lt. catches him having sex with a dead pig, and decides that enough is enough, and shoots him in the head.  The Lt. then goes inside to welcome the birth of his new baby boy, and man is that a fat baby.

FAST FORWARD 30 YEARS>>

That fat baby grew up to be an even fatter man: a professional competitive eater named Kálmán.  While at a national event, he notices the female Hungarian eating champ giving him the sexy eye.  After all the contestants purge their meals in a very graphic display that will make you want to do the same, Kálmán tries to show off for Gizi by winning the next round. Unfortunately he gets lockjaw and passes out.  Gizi visits him in the hospital and they hit it off, and end up getting married.  They frolic together, picnic and share HUGE meals together.  They also apparently put their fat naughty bits together too, because she is pregnant.  They are so happy that they are going to have a fat son who will become the next competitive eating champion!

FAST FORWARD 30 YEARS>>

DISSAPPOINTMENT! Their kid, Lajoska is a scrawny thing and owns his own taxidermy business. He spends his days working and getting food for Kálmán, who now makes Jabba the Hutt look like a Victoria’s Secret model.  He and his dad fight about the son being a disappointment and Lajoska leaves and comes back days later to see that his dad has been eaten alive by his own cats.  He honors his father by stuffing him.  He is now able to complete his life’s work: taxidermy himself!  He has constructed this Saw-like rig that will help him remove all of his organs and inject him with preseritives.  Once all that is done and he has stitched himself up, he pulls a level that severs both his arm and his head, turning himself into a work of art. Fin.

Alex’s Thoughts: Um… wow. That was… that was something alright. Don’t ever let it be said that Hungarians aren’t an interesting folk. I don’t know where to start, so I will jump to the end. I really don’t have a clue what this thing is about, maybe I missed the deeper meaning, it is way artsy after all.  Maybe if I was from Hungary I would be like “that is totally how our people rose up and gained our independence from those tyrannical overlords.” But dumb American me is like: this guy pees fire, this other guy is really fat with a really fat wife and this skinny guy taxidermied himself… okay.  It is just strange, and if you like that thing this might be for you. It looks pretty good, but I was lost throughout most of it. Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim’s Thoughts:I must be losing my touch, I have no idea what the point of this movie is. It’s gross to be gross and weird to be weird, other than to have a story of survival to tell your friends there is absolutely no point in seeing this. I was confused and kind of bored through the entire movie. I guess I was spoiled by actually enjoying the last few we reviewed. Skip this, and don’t look back. Tim Rates This Movie 2/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

Real Word: Vampires

Vampires (2010)

After two failed attempts to document the daily lives of vampires in Belgium (both film crews were murdered almost instantly), a new group of filmmakers has been allowed unprecedented access to a vampire’s lifestyle.  We meet a small family of four: father George, mother Bertha, son Sampson and wanna-be-human and pink-clad daughter Grace.  The crew sees how day-to-day life functions for the undead. They have a human slave whom they refer to as The Meat who cares for them during the day, and who they feed off of on occasion.  The government often sends them the dregs of society or illegal immigrants to ‘dispose of’ and they come collect the bodies once a week.  Things are working out well: the blood is flowing, the kids are in vampire school to learn the ropes and the film crew hasn’t been eaten yet.

The family does live on the edge of the vampire code though, and their neighbors that live in the basement will often remind them of that.  They are a young vampire couple who want a house all to themselves, but they are not allowed since they can’t sire a child. You see, the woman loves to eat babies, and the guy wants to have sex with them as soon as they can walk.  Freaks (even for vampires)!  there are few rules in vampire society, but our family is willing to break a few, such as letting Grace’s human boyfriend eat at their table. But Samson breaks the one major rule: don’t plow the head vampire’s wife.  The family must face being exiled to Canada, or Samson will be executed. They find life much harder in Montreal, where they are forced to work and not eat people. Things are so miserable that Grace even turns human again. But things begin to look up when they are allowed to come back home.

Alex’s Thoughts: I was pretty entertained by this movie, although there are some slow parts. Seeing how a vampire family would fit into everyday life was actually interesting.  I was a little disappointed in the ending, only because at the beginning they dedicated the movie to the missing film crew. So you were waiting for the vampires to turn on them, and that wait never paid off. If you are into vampire flicks you might want to take a look at this. Alex Rates This Movie: 7/10

Tim’s Thoughts:This starts off with a bang, and it’s  a slow decline from there. It’s interesting to see the vampire society’s rules,  and this is really a fresh look at a way overdone movie monster. There are some truly funny bits, and the first few attempts to get the movie made are the best. Sadly this goes on for just a bit too long. The decadence gets old, the family becomes unlikable and snooty, and I stopped caring what was going to happen with them. Once they are exiled I thought the movie would end, and I was pretty happy with that. Instead I get another 20 minutes, of  a family full of shmucks being miserable. Well except for Samson, who is happy being a “busker”, that bit is pretty funny, but it’s not enough to make the prologue worth it. Still not a bad movie, and I think it should be seen just for it’s unique ideas. Tim Rates This Movie 7/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

Not Enough Baby To Go Around

Inside (2007)

Four months ago, Sarah and her husband were in a car accident; her husband did not survive.  Now Sarah, nine-months pregnant, is alone on Christmas eve, and hears a knock at her front door.  On the other side is a woman asking to use the phone, but when Sarah denies the request, the woman becomes irate and yells at Sarah BY NAME.  After Sarah threatens to call the police the lady leaves, only to come to the back door and smash the glass and try to force herself in.  The police show up and tell her that all is well, and that the crazy lady probably won’t be back.  After a rough night, Sarah goes to sleep.

The next shot is of a dozing Sarah, and as the camera pans out we see that the crazy woman is in the room with her, brandishing a pair of sharp-looking scissors.  She then does the unthinkable and cuts into Sarah’s belly to get at the baby, and when Sarah awakes and puts up a fight, she is slashed across the face before locking herself in the bathroom. If that wasn’t the worst 2 minutes ever, now her water just broke! For some reason Sarah has a string of visitors come to the door, all of which are ‘taken care of’ by the woman in brutal fashion.  So are the police when they return and discover that the woman is inside the house. With lots of twists and turns ahead, will Sarah or her baby survive? Or will the strange woman finally get the baby that is owed to her?

Alex’s Thoughts: I am still reeling for just having watched this and am trying to put into words the awful things I just saw. This is a seriously brutal and gory film. It isn’t that it was a bad movie, I just don’t really know what to think about it.  The filmmakers didn’t pull any punches and it shows, big time.  I haven’t watched much French horror, but the movies I have seen (Haute Tension & Martyrs) are similar in that they have a gruesome story to tell and they do not have a problem using extreme violence and disturbing images to get that story across.  I feel bad saying that I thought this was a good movie, and I shouldn’t say ‘good’ as much as well made. That makes me feel better about myself, and hopefully convinces myself that I’m not a freak for appreciating this film for what it is. Alex Rates This Movie 8/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This is not a movie for pregnant ladies, ladies with babies, ladies, fathers to be, new fathers, or anyone with any bit of apprehension about terrible violence being done to a woman literally about to have a child. This movie freaks me out, the gore looks realistic, the antagonist is merciless, the action is swift and unrelenting, and did I mention that the violence is brutal? Inside is terrifying, it completely succeeds in making the viewer not only dread each moment, but you cannot look away, you want to, but you can’t. It’s amazing in its pacing and directing, and for my money, horror doesn’t get much better. Nobody wants these things to happen, and yes it’s disturbing to say that this is a good movie, but it’s good the same way The Exorcist is, it unsettles you for days after seeing it, and unlike  Human Centipede, this isn’t a goofy piece of garbage made to shock. This is a scare the crap out of you, and make sure your doors or locked kind of movie. Good stuff, but not for the faint of heart. Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

 

 

 

 

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to you Netflix queue

Extreme Hoarding

The Horde (2009)

After a drug-dealer kills a cop, his other cop friends decide to circumvent the law and take him out themselves.  After a botched assignation attempt that leaves two of them near death, and the mob boss and his goons are seemingly in control of the situation. That is until a recently murdered corpse in their apartment closet comes back to life and starts biting everyone.  After escaping to the roof and seeing explosions all over town, as well as a herd of the undead just outside the apartment building, they realize that there is trouble. You know the drill by now: the survivors must put away their differences and make it out of there alive.  They must battle infected tenants, fallen comrades and the large group of zombies at the front door and try to work together to find an exit.

With everyone on edge by the ravenous killing machines after them, as well as their opposite group who were hell-bent on murdering them 30 minutes ago, tensions are high. Can the cops and crooks work together to survive?

On a side note: every time the Mob boss kills a zombie, he screams about being Nigerian.  Not sure if zombie-killing is a national pastime in Nigeria and he is just excited, or what his deal is.  We are also pretty sure that the director’s cut of this movie had him writing the following note to the outside world:

Greetings, I am a Nigerian drug kingpin in need of assistance. I have $80 million dollars in the bank downtown, but am unable to get to it at the moment, due to the recent zombie outbreak. If you could send me $10,000 of your own money for guns and ammo, I would gladly split my fortune with you once I am able to escape this building…

Alex’s Thoughts: This had been on my radar for a while, as I heard that it was a pretty good zombie flick.  I just needed to find one of those days where I was in the mood for a zombie movie (I’ve been burnt out on those lately) AND a movie with subtitles.  Once I watched it, I was glad I did.  The first 15 minutes are just an absolute bore, but once the cops get inside the building, the rest is excellent.  It had some interesting things to add to the genre, and despite some continuity issues and some bad CG, I did enjoy it. I would say it is probably a must for fans of ‘fast zombie’ movies like [REC] & 28 Days Later.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10 

Tim’s Thoughts: Maybe this just caught me on a bad day, there are a few characters that I like, and the ending was okay, but everything else about this standard zombie movie fare. Mix in some annoying CG and goofy frame acceleration to make the violence seem more intense and now you have a standard zombie plot AND shitty film making. This isn’t really that bad, but I am sick of the same old zombie movie. I kept thinking of (.REC) while watching this, and how that was so much better. Not the worst thing I have seen by far, but nothing to set it aside from the rest of the other mediocre films of the same genre. Tim Rates This  Movie 5/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

The Zombie Outbreak Spreads to Germany

Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2010)

Love’s a bitch sometimes.  No one knows that better than Michael.  He has recently been dumped by his girlfriend Gabi, but he has a lame idea that will at least allow him to see her again… where he will probably act like a schmuck and she will be certain she made the right choice.  Michael plans on personally returning her keys, which she said to mail.  He goes to her new apartment to find only construction workers, and decides he will wait for her.  Won’t she be excited?  As one of the workers struggles with a pipe, he ends up cutting his arm; moments latter his eyes are all glazed over and he runs at Michael.

Luckily the crazy guy’s assistant, Harper, is there to help and they end up pushing the guy out into the hall.  Seconds later they here a ruckus out in the courtyard of the apartment building, and they rush to the window.  They aren’t quite ready for what they see.  Dozens of crazy people are chasing a few scared folks around like chickens, eventually catching them and biting their tender flesh.  We have a zombie outbreak on our hand, folks!  The TV is no help and the few remaining tenants are scared, but are still communicating through their windows that overlook the courtyard.  Days pass, and without food, Michael and Harper are ready to try a desperate act.  One of the tenants has a sick sister, but knows of another tenant (Gabi’s neighbor) who has some medicine. He says that he will give them some much needed food for their help. They two guys break down the wall between the apartment, which not only alerts the zombies to their presents, but also riles up the old lady zombie in the adjacent apartment.

Harper finds a nice high shelf to hid on, while Michael ducks into a pantry as a horde of zombies rush in, and finds a ladder to the attic and moves on up to safety.  There is some good news and bad news up there.  The good news is that Gabi is up there, the bad news is that she is with her new boyfriend.  Michael doesn’t take that news so well and heads up to the roof, making his way the the guy’s apartment who needed the medicine.  His sister isn’t well, and soon zombifies and tackles her brother as they fall out the window.   It turns out that guy was an asshole, and didn’t really have too much food anyway.  Meanwhile harper has discovered that the zombies don’t like a camera flash, and he is able to escape and force all of the zombies out of the building.

They meat up with a cute girl and some other douchebag and plan to escape in the morning using cameras and some other lights they scavenged.  In the middle of the night, the guy steals all the food and flashes and makes a break for it.  Not on their watch! They chase after him, and right before he is eaten Michael manages to save a camera, but is bit in the process.  It won’t be long now before he is a zombie, so he sends Harper and the woman on their way to a boat where they will be safe (for a while probably).  As Michael starts twitching and changing into a zombie, he sees Gabi’s new beau running for his life.  What could he be scared of? How about Zombie Gabi?  Michael grabs her and gives her a nice long hug before he turns.  The two of them do end up together in the end. How nice.

Alex’s Thoughts:  While this isn’t anything special that we haven’t seen before, it was still a pretty good watch.  It’s true that zombies have been done to death recently; once in a while one will stick out above the others.  I think this is one of those.  Visually it’s very well made with some nice long takes and well acted.  The main guy is a little but of a knob, and it’s hard to root for his early in the film, but he becomes a hero later on.  The zombies look pretty decent, and the older ones develop this odd Klingon forehead ridge thing in addition to their glassy eyes and foaming mouth.  I think zombie fans would still find something in this movie to enjoy, despite everything that has been pushed on us lately.  Alex Rates This Movie 7/10 

Tim’s Thoughts: Zombies have been beaten to death lately, and yes they keep on getting back up, but some should really stay down. While this isn’t that bad of a movie (and it’s just over an hour long, that’s a big plus!) Rammbock doesn’t stand out. There’s no new twist on the story, no new angle, and the main character is such a wimp, it’s nearly impossible to pull for him, and by the end I was just glad I didn’t have to hear him whimper anymore. Fans that must see every incarnation of zombie films will be fine with this, it’s not terrible, but for me, having seen a ton of this exact same film, it’s just more of the same. Tim Rates This Movie:5/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

“Fauns Are Not To Be Trusted.”

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

The Spanish Civil war is winding down.  Many men have been killed, and many children are without their fathers.  Ofelia is one such girl, but don’t fret, her mother has remarried, gotten knocked-up and is moving them to an old mill in the country to be with her new hubby – a sadistic captain in the Spanish army.  The Captain could give two shits about Ofelia, and only wants to concern himself with his new wife and the birth of their son.  Ofelia is a curious lass who loves fairy tales, and upon her arrival to the mill she sees what she believes is a fairy and follows it to an ancient labyrinth; which has a huge descending staircase at its center.  She is quickly reprimanded by Mercedes, the Captain’s housekeeper and is sent away from the labyrinth.

Her curiosity gets the best of her as she returns that night, and goes down to hole and meets a faun.  The faun tells her that she has returned home, she used to be a princess and had gotten lost.  Despite the fact that he is totally creepy, she buys into this as he tells her that she must complete three tasks that are found in a magic book he gives her, in order for her to return to her real parents in the underworld.  Her first task is to kill a giant toad who has a key inside it, she completes this without much trouble, but ends up a dirty mess and disgraces herself in front of her new father.

Her mother isn’t doing well at all and is forced to be sedated and on bed rest until the baby is born.  The faun is on a strict schedule and is faun-pissed because Ofelia is slacking in her tasks.  Since she is spending all of her time with her mommy, the faun agrees to help out by placing a magic root under her bed to aid in her recovery, so Ofelia can stay focused.  Ofelia goes on to the next task, which is to retrieve a knife from a strange room.  She is told not to eat anything there, just get the knife and GTFO.  After drawing a magic door and entering the room, she sees an eyeless creature at the head of a huge banquet table covered in food.  After using the toad key to obtain the knife, she has a few grapes… who is going to know.  This awakes the child-eating monster at the end of the table that almost has Ofelia for lunch.

The faun is totally faun-pissed off, and tells her that she blew her chance of ever going home.  Everything around the mill starts going to shit, as the Captain has captured some rebels he has been chasing, and those inside the Captain’s home who have been helping the rebels are worried that their secret will soon be known.  The Captain has also discovered the root keeping her mother well, and discards it, which causes mommy to quickly fall back into poor health.  She soon dies during childbirth, leaving Ofelia alone.  After being discovered as a rebel agent, Mercedes is forced to flee the house, but says she will return for Ofelia.

Ofelia isn’t going to wait for her, and decides to take off, but not without her new baby brother.  She snatches the kid from the Captain’s room and makes for the labyrinth. The faun is there waiting for her with knife in-hand.  He says that spilling the blood of the baby is the final task to send her back home.  She doesn’t trust a man-goat holding a dagger, nor does she want any harm to fall to her brother.  The Captain tracks her down, and sees her talking to herself and shoots her dead, snatching the baby up.  He intern is killed by the rebels, taking the baby to raise as their own.  It turns out that making the right choice to protect the baby was Ofelia’s third task, as she is rewarded with an eternity next to her loving parents in a magical world.  It turns out that faun wasn’t full of shit after all.

There is a lot going on in this movie, and no plot synopsis by us is going to cover it all.  This is one that you are going to have to see for yourself in order to get all of the meaning and subtly out of it.

Alex’s Thoughts:  What can you say about this movie that hasn’t been said before. It is absolutely perfect.  Guillermo del Toro is one on the best writers and directors out there, and can really do no wrong in my book.  This was one of those movies that I had just been putting off, telling myself that I would see it eventually.  Remembering all of the crap I have watched recently, as well as looking at all of the lesser movies in my Netflix queue; I decided I needed to treat myself to something good.  I was in no way disappointed.  Del Toro can set a mood like no one else, and that is certainly the case here.  Visually it is excellent as well, and that isn’t even taking into account the creatures!  Doug Jones pulls off The Faun and the Pale Man perfectly as is the case with every character he brings to life, the man is a genius.  I could go one for hours on this movie, and if you’ve seen it you know why.  If you haven’t seen it yet, please watch it and don’t be frightened off by the subtitles.  Alex Rates This Movie 10/10

Tim’s Thoughts:Yeah this is a no brainer, this movie is beautiful and haunting. There is little I can say that every critic, or Alex hasn’t, Pan’s Labyrinth is one of the best movies made not only visually, but also with its amazing storytelling. Tim Rates This Movie:10/10

Erin’s Thoughts:  This was a movie I never got around to seeing when it first came out, but I’m glad I finally did. I didn’t really know what it was about heading into it; I thought it was predominantly a fantasy film, when really it’s focused on the gritty aftermath of war as seen through the eyes of a young child. I thought Del Toro did a good job weaving back and forth between the real world and that of the hidden kingdom. Even with having to read subtitles, the plot wasn’t too complicated to follow. It was, however, much more violent than I thought it was going to be, again, thinking it was mostly fantasy. Although the gore isn’t any worse than what’s in many movies these days, I wasn’t prepared for it. Twelve-year-old Ivana Baquero did a great job carrying the film, although the best performance was arguably by Sergi Lopez who played her vicious stepfather. The film got a lot of attention when it came out for it visuals – and both the cinematography and make-up effects are breathtaking. In the end, I thought it was a heart-wrenching yet hopeful film, where a young child finds a way to rise above the cruelty of her war-torn life.  Erin Rates This Movie 8.5/10

“You’re getting older, and you’ll see that life isn’t like your fairy tales. The world is a cruel place. And you’ll learn that, even if it hurts.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix Queue