Category: Oddball

The Brass Teapot (2012)


Although young married couple Alice & John are ass-deep in debt, and John works at a dead end job, they are happy as can be. Making ends meet is difficult, but Alice feels that she is just about to land the perfect job with her degree in art history. While out for a drive, they come across an antique shop, where Alice finds the most beautiful thing she had ever seen: a shiny old teapot. Since they are broke, she just nabs the thing and they drive off into the sunset. The next day she accidentally burns herself on her curling iron, and she finds out that this teapot is something special: every time she hurts herself the teapot spits out cash… hundreds in cash. John comes home later to find the house in a mess and his wife all beat to hell, but also finds thousands of dollars.  Did his sweet wife just turn into a super kinky hooker?

The pair takes turns inflicting both physical and mental pain on each other until the teapot is only kicking out fives and tens. They learn that other people’s pain will result in the teapot spitting out the large sums they were accustomed to, so they do that for a while, but eventually they want a big score, and they realize that they might need to kill someone to get that teapot jackpot. Will they let their greed get the best of them and kill another human being? What is up with the Hasidic Jews who keep robbing them? And is the teapot a thing of pure evil as the old Oriental guys who keeps following them believes?

Alex’s Thoughts: I couldn’t tell if this was going to be a drama, a comedy or a horror movie, as is sometimes the case with low budget indie movies you’ve never heard of.  So I went it blind with just a vague description of the plot.  Immediately I felt a connection with the young couple and was hooked from then on.  It was interesting how two people who initially cared nothing for money or material things, because so obsessed with those things as the movie progressed.  The scenes with the verbal abuse and revealing of some hurtful secrets was a pretty unexpected twist, and you realize that greed has these two in their grasp.  It is well shot, and I loved the actors.  I would highly recommend this one.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: The Brass Teapot is the quintessential Indie movie. It’s quirky, weird, not marketable by major studios, and a cast of up and comers that you will be seeing a lot more of in the future. There isn’t anything I really loved about this, but it’s funny enough, and the premise is unique. It’s a smart and unusual movie, and the talented cast keeps it interesting, the side characters especially. It does have flaws, a lot of common sense questions, and some unexplored avenues that I felt would have been interesting. So without spoiling the movie I will say that while far from perfect this is a solid movie, that is different enough to almost be refreshing, almost. Definitely worth a watch if you like independent movies, and there are laughs to be had. Tim Rates This Movie: 7/10

teapot 2

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.


The ABC’s of Death (2012)


It’s probably hard enough to make an anthology-type movie with just four or five directors, but The ABC’s of Death has TWENTY-SIX, one for each letter of the alphabet.  As the name implies, each three to four minute segment features a person (or people) getting killed, with the cause of death starting with that respective letter.  We certainly can’t review each one, but with entries like ‘D is for Dogfight’ and ‘Q is for Quack’, there is something for most horror fans.  The stories are presented in a wide variety of styles from serious artsy entries to humorous animations, and everything in-between. Each director had $5,000 and free reign to do whatever they wanted as long as the scene featured their letter and opened and closed on a red background.   With directors from around the world, all twenty-six stories are unique and vary a lot based on the director’s country of origin. And yes… F is for Fart!

Alex’s Thoughts: It’s hard to rate this movie, as there are so many different segments.  As a whole I thought it was a good effort, and while not all of the segments were good; if I didn’t like a particular one, I only had to sit through it for a few minutes.  The biggest gripe I have is that the version on Netflix that I watched didn’t have sub-titles, and with only a handful of the stories in English, I feel like I missed out on what was being presented.  A less, but equally annoying, aspect was the constant fade to and from a red background or object at the beginning and end of each segment.  After seeing that eight times I was already fed up with it, but no, I had to see it 18 more times.  I am a fan of different directing styles and short stories, so this was the perfect  format for me, even if I did only like/ understand only about half of the segments.  Alex rates This Movie: 7/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Conceptually this is an amazing idea, but I really felt the execution was lacking. Only one or two of these are watchable, while the rest are either too ambitious, silly or just plain stupid. I respect the effort, but would much rather have only 5 or 6 stories, with less crap, and just a tiny bit more time to develop. An interesting exercise in cinema, and nothing else. Tim Rates This Movie 4/10


View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

John Dies At the End (2012)


Instead of trying to explain this very strange plot to you (it would sound liked jumbled up metaphors and nonsense) I will just tell you this: This movie is nothing but jumbled up metaphors and nonsense, sprinkled with some interesting philosophical questions. Okay, fine, here’s a basic outline: Dave and John are best friends that seem to be paranormal experts, as in they help people with their supernatural problems. They are qualified to do this due to the space/future/another dimension drug they take. It’s called Soy Sauce, and it gives them clairvoyance, and the ability to see things that other people can’t. Dave want’s to tell his story, so he contacts a reporter named Arnie, and proceeds to tell him how he and John save the world with the help of a dog named Bark Lee. An alien by the name of Korrok is going dimension to dimension conquering all in his path, and our Earth is next. Without being too spoilery, not everything is as it seems as Dave, John and a few friends fight off strange leech monsters, weird bee monsters that infest a host then blow it up, and a strange group of topless folks that wear bizarre masks. Needless to say that Soy Sauce is some powerful shit!

Alex’s Thoughts: After ten minutes in I thought this might be one of my new favorite movies, and then after twenty minutes I couldn’t remember what I liked about it. It went from what I thought was a buddy monster-hunting duo comedy into just a strange tale that lost me almost immediately.  Although there was very little that I understood, I thought the acting was still really good and I will watch anything with Paul Giamatti (Fred Claus excluded), and that goes the same for Mr. Eugene Krabbs himself, Clancy Brown.  It was almost too strange to watch, but somehow I thought it would get better if I kept watching, but it got stranger and stranger. I’m not sure what to think of it right now. It’s interesting for sure, but I don’t know if that is enough for me to say that it was good. Maybe it warrants a second viewing, or a reading of the book it’s based on.  Alex Rates This Movie 6/10

Tim’s Thoughts:This movie has a lot of problems, some weird plot holes, and Soy Sauce seems to be able to do whatever the plot requires. That being said, I will watch this again, if not only to try to understand it better, but also because I enjoyed the hell out of it. The strange philosophy, the goofy coincidences, and the odd jokes that seemed to hit all the right chords with me. I really enjoyed this despite all the problems that it has. It’s kinetic stream of consciousness kept me glued to the TV as I kept wondering where the hell this movie was going. Be ready for some really crazy stuff, but I say watch this. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10


View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

Taxidermia (2006)

Morosgoványi is a private serving at a rural Hungarian house, occupied by an officer and his family, in WWII. He lives in a shack with the pigs and spends most of his free time having dirty thoughts about the luitenant’s girls, playing with himself or shooting flames out of the end of his dong. That’s right. That’s the only reason we wanted to see this, and it is glorious!  The Lt. catches him having sex with a dead pig, and decides that enough is enough, and shoots him in the head.  The Lt. then goes inside to welcome the birth of his new baby boy, and man is that a fat baby.


That fat baby grew up to be an even fatter man: a professional competitive eater named Kálmán.  While at a national event, he notices the female Hungarian eating champ giving him the sexy eye.  After all the contestants purge their meals in a very graphic display that will make you want to do the same, Kálmán tries to show off for Gizi by winning the next round. Unfortunately he gets lockjaw and passes out.  Gizi visits him in the hospital and they hit it off, and end up getting married.  They frolic together, picnic and share HUGE meals together.  They also apparently put their fat naughty bits together too, because she is pregnant.  They are so happy that they are going to have a fat son who will become the next competitive eating champion!


DISSAPPOINTMENT! Their kid, Lajoska is a scrawny thing and owns his own taxidermy business. He spends his days working and getting food for Kálmán, who now makes Jabba the Hutt look like a Victoria’s Secret model.  He and his dad fight about the son being a disappointment and Lajoska leaves and comes back days later to see that his dad has been eaten alive by his own cats.  He honors his father by stuffing him.  He is now able to complete his life’s work: taxidermy himself!  He has constructed this Saw-like rig that will help him remove all of his organs and inject him with preseritives.  Once all that is done and he has stitched himself up, he pulls a level that severs both his arm and his head, turning himself into a work of art. Fin.

Alex’s Thoughts: Um… wow. That was… that was something alright. Don’t ever let it be said that Hungarians aren’t an interesting folk. I don’t know where to start, so I will jump to the end. I really don’t have a clue what this thing is about, maybe I missed the deeper meaning, it is way artsy after all.  Maybe if I was from Hungary I would be like “that is totally how our people rose up and gained our independence from those tyrannical overlords.” But dumb American me is like: this guy pees fire, this other guy is really fat with a really fat wife and this skinny guy taxidermied himself… okay.  It is just strange, and if you like that thing this might be for you. It looks pretty good, but I was lost throughout most of it. Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim’s Thoughts:I must be losing my touch, I have no idea what the point of this movie is. It’s gross to be gross and weird to be weird, other than to have a story of survival to tell your friends there is absolutely no point in seeing this. I was confused and kind of bored through the entire movie. I guess I was spoiled by actually enjoying the last few we reviewed. Skip this, and don’t look back. Tim Rates This Movie 2/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

Space Nazis from the Moon

Iron Sky (2012)

It’s 2018, and the president of the United States, who was obviously based on Sarah Palin, is desperate to boost her approval rating, so se sends a guy to the moon for the first time in 50-years. But this isn’t just any guy, it’s a black guy – a jive-talking soul brother model to be precise.  Once on the moon he does some walking around the dark side and sees something a bit strange: a huge Nazi fortress. Before he can run, a group of soldiers capture him and blow up his ship.  We learn through a teacher there, named Renate, that they have been there since 1945, just breeding new Nazis and building war machines, waiting for the right time to attack Earth and continue Hitler’s plan of world domination.

I know what you’re thinking: this sounds like the best movie ever. Hold your horses, because it gets dumb real quick.  Seeing as how they can’t have a black guy running around, the Nazis inject the astronaut, named Washington, with something that turns him into a perfect Aryan specimen: blond hair and blue eyes.  It is still very obvious that it is still a black guy though (think White Chicks). He is forced to take the teacher and her boyfriend Adler, the next in line to be Führer, to Earth to meet with the president to discuss surrender as well as getting cell phones to power their super-weapon on the moon.  The president decides that a war with the Nazis will only help her popularity, so she tells them to bring it on.

The Nazi fleet emerges from the dark side of the moon with zepplin shaped ships towing meteors and holding hundreds of flying saucers, and soon start attacking NYC.  We have a secret spaceship of our own and begin attacking them in orbit. As we start to get our butts kicked, several dozen other countries launch their spaceships as well, as we begin to destroy their fleet.  We work our way to the moon and nuke their fortress, but soon a huge ship breaks from under the surface and starts kicking all types of ass.  Before it can destroy Earth, our guy Washington destroys the iPad that was powering it as it crashes down.  All is well right? Well, all of the remaining counties with ships near the moon spot containers holding an element called Helium-3 which the Nazis were using to power their ships. All hell breaks loose when the US president lays claim to these tanks, and the other counties begin to fire on each others ships for the right to get at the stuff. When there are no ships left, nukes can be seen exploding on the surface of the Earth as the credits roll. Those Nazi bastards still win in the end!

Alex’s Thoughts: I want so much to love this movie, and the first 20 minutes and the last 20 minutes are great, but… the middle is just really bad and brings the whole thing screeching to a halt.  The concept is really fun, and the set and effects are very well designed and makes you feel like you are seeing secret space technology from the 1940’s. But the placement of the black astronaut and the Sarah Palin president ruin the whole thing for me.  If it was just the introduction to the Nazis and a huge war broke out, I would have been fine with that, but it has characters in it that you can’t help but hate and it derails a promising movie.  If you like sci-fi movies from the 60’s and 70’s this will be right up your alley.  Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This movie has so much potential. You could do a serious Red Dawn action style flick, or a hilarious blaxploitation movie with Nazis. Instead we get lame social commentary that is 4 years too late. Did I mention how disappointing this is? It has really solid effects, but the characters/story undermine this movie, and I am checking my watch 20 minutes in. Check it out if you don’t believe me, but you will be wasting your time, there are way funnier movies out there. See Black Dynamite instead, it’s way better and you will have a much better time. Tim Rates This Movie 3/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

Southland Tales (2006)

This is normally where we would tell you the plot of the movie. We tried to come up with something that made sence, but we couldn’t piece this things together into anything that was even remotely coherent.  There are probably 4 or 5 plot-lines going on in this movie which center around a movie star with amnesia, a new clean energy source, people using said energy source as a drug, a plot to overthrow the government, a flying ice cream truck and world war 3!  There is just way too much going on in this thing.  They try to recap it all in the opening montage, and that might have worked if it was like an hour, but at 5 minutes it just makes thing more confusing.  So we decided to list the many famous actors in this thing, of which many of their parts are a stretch from the previous roles.  So read on and try to keep up…

Dwayne “The Rock” JohnsonAn amnesic actor named Boxer who is married to the daughter of a politician. He believes himself to be the real life embodiment of “Jericho Cain”, the lead character in a screen play he wrote. He is the catalyst for everything going on in this movie  and seemingly as confused as we are.

Justin Timberlake – A wounded soldier with massive facial scars and a goatee that looks just as gross.  He narrates the movie via bible verses atop a building with a huge sniper rifle overlooking Venice Beach.  He also likes to inject the new fuel source fluid karma and get high and break out into musical numbers.

Eli Roth – Just some random dude who is killed on a toilet.

Sarah Michelle Gellar – A pornstar named Krysta Now who aspires to have her own clothing, perfume, energy drink and handbag lines. She is the girlfriend of Boxer, and advocate for Teen Horniness and had starred in such adult movies as Cock Chuggers 2: Cock Chuggin’.

Cheri Oteri – A tattooed dreadlocked Neo-Marxist with plans to overthrow the government.

John Laraquette – The campaign manager for the hopeful vice president, and an all around d-bag.

Jon Lovitz– A spray-tanned cop with amazing hair, and a penchant for violence and rough sex.

Mandy Moore – The Senator’s daughter and Boxer’s wife who has recently been impregnated by her father’s aide.

Sean William Scott – Playing the dual role of twins, al la Jean Claude van Damme, one of which is a cop and the other is just a loser. Or are they the same person?

Amy Poehler – A famous performance artist who plans on framing Boxer for murder.

Will Sasso – A pimp, a card shark and gun-selling drug dealer with awesome Hawaiian shirts.

Wallace Shawn– The cross-dressing inventor of the energy source fluid karma… inconceivable!

Kevin Smith – The leader of the neo-Marxist movement, who looks exactly like Karl Marx.

Alex’s Thoughts: This plot is just a mess, which you can probably decipher from the characters above.  This movie is part of a larger story that includes three graphic novels and an interactive website.  Maybe with all that material I could figure out what the hell is going on, but with just the movie on its own, you really don’t have a chance.  The acting is fine, and seeing people in atypical roles is fun, but you can’t really enjoy that since you are spending all your time trying to figure out what is happening.  If you are a fan of good acting you might appreciate this, assuming you are also a fan of over production and an excess of political ideals.  Alex Rates This Movie 4/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Yeah, I don’t know what to say, this movie in more capable hands, and with a bit more restraint could probably be really good. Sadly that is not the case, the acting is fine, but the story while ambitious doesn’t work. It’s muddled with social commentary that is so extreme it’s almost parody. Strange as it may sound, Southland Tales may have been better with a lower budget, I think it would have forced the director to be a little more confined, and make him work a little more creatively. Instead we have an inflated overblown story, that is obviously out of control, and is almost too self indulgent to enjoy. I think this is a well shot movie, and I do respect it’s ambition, but it doesn’t work. There are scenes that I think are excellent, but as a whole, this is not very good, and at 3 hours plus it’s a chore to watch. Tim Rates This Movie 3/10

“This is the way the world ends. Not with a whimper, but with a bang”

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Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

It’s December in Finland as two young boys spy on some miners on the top of a huge hill.  The boys can’t figure out what these Americans could be digging for, and our main character Pietari suggests maybe it’s Santa, based on the time of year. The older boy basically tells him that he’s retarded and is too old to believe in Santa, which might be true since he is like 11.  They travel back down the hill and through a hole in the fence that surrounds the dig site, and return to their homes. Pietari can’t help but think maybe he was right about what’s down there, so he does a little research, and despite living in a tiny house, they have a huge amount of books on fairy tales and Christmas history.  It turns out that Santa isn’t the red-suited, jolly fat fuck we are all used to seeing around the holidays; he is actually a demon. He comes once a year to punish children who have been naughty, and snatches them from their homes to torture them or even kill them.  Hundreds of years ago, the locals lured Santa out onto a frozen lake and he fell through and froze solid.  They then cut him out of the ice and spend decades covering him with rocks and boulders encasing him inside a huge mound.  Just like the mound those fools were digging at, and is right next to his house.

Soon strange things begin to happen around the village: Pietari finds footprints on the roof outside his room, and his father’s herd of reindeer have been slaughtered.  His dad blames it on wolves and a hole that was cut in the fence outside the hill, and aims to give those Americans a stern talking too.  As they travel to the top of the hill, they find the dig site deserted, and a gigantic  empty hole.    The adults don’t know what to do, so they just sulk and go home.  The next day Pietari notices that the bait they use for their wolf trap is missing, and something must have fallen in the pit and ended up on the spikes below. He runs and tells his dad, who goes for a look, and tells him there is nothing there.  But there is… and old naked man has been impaled and is dead at the bottom of this hole.  After calling over a friend, Pietari’s dad needs to get rid of the body, so as he is about to cut it up, the guy springs back to life and attacks one of them.  He remains curled up in a corner and doesn’t move until Pietari comes around. The kid tells the adults his story about Santa, and lets them know that they have him cornered in their garage.  The adults get an idea, they will sell him back to the owners of the mining site!

As they meet the Americans for the exchange, a frightening truth is discovered. The guy they captured isn’t Santa at all, he is just an elf. At that moment we meet Santa’s other helpers and hundreds of guys just as old and just as naked as their elf come out of the woods towards them with weapons in-hand. The group runs into a warehouse to seek shelter, but that might not have been the best choice, as the real santa is in there: a giant horned creature still frozen in ice, but the ice is quickly melting.  They also find all the village’s children ready for Santa to judge when he wakes up, but also there is a shit ton of dynamite too. At this moment in time, Pietari goes from innocent little kid to total badass, and comes up with a plan. They fly the kids out on a chopper to lure the naked elves away, and the remaining guys stick dynamite all over the Santa popsicle.  They blow him up, and the elves sort of space out and don’t know what to do next.

Here is where the movie gets kind of trippy: the guys now have 200 old men on their hands, so what do they do with them?  The train them to be mall Santas and ship them all over the world as an export from the land of the real Santa.  Mind you these guys were trying to murder people five minutes ago…

Alex’s Thoughts: This thing starts out with a pretty clear explanation of what’s going on, but sort of slows down for a while and in parts works hard to bore you.  It picks up though when they find ‘Santa’, and it keeps pace well from then out. I like how near the end, the main kid drops his stuffed animal and turns into a bad-assed action hero.  The acting was pretty good throughout, but that is from someone who only speaks English and not Finnish.  I did not care for the ending at all. I didn’t really get it, and thought maybe it would have been better to just kill all those naked old men.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10 

Tim’s Thoughts: I waited an extra day after watching this to write my review, I needed some extra time to digest this and figure out how I feel about this movie. It’s shot beautifully,and I am finding that the Scandinavians make very visually pleasing cinema, but the ending of this film is so strange, and out of left field…..I will say that 90 percent of this movie I really like, I just can’t make up my mind about the ending. If you don’t mind subtitles I recommend this, even if it’s just to see the crazy take on the Santa Claus mythology. Tim Rates This Movie: 8/10

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May (2003)

Young May doesn’t have a lot going for her.  She has an unloving mother who constantly puts her down and makes fun of her lazy eye.  Mommy goes so far as to tell her that she shouldn’t even try making friends, since no one likes her anyway.  She gives her a friend named Suzie to play with, but Suzie is just a doll in a box that May is never allowed to take out.  We jump ahead to May as an adult, and you can imagine that she is quite the social retard thanks to her mother.  She spends her days working as a veterinary assistant and sewing her own clothes in the evenings.  She has no friends, but if she wasn’t a complete weirdo; she’d see that the receptionist at her office (Anna Ferris) likes her, but May can’t pick up the very obvious and forward hints.

One day she walks by a garage near her work and goons at the mechanic there for a while.  She loves everything about Adam and stalks him for weeks, trying to get up the nerve to talk to him.  She follows him to a laundry mat, and he strikes up a conversation while cleaning his unmentionables.  They actually go out on a date soon after, and although she is a bit of a nut job, Adam is into her.  So you’d think right away that this toolbox is into taking advantage of fruitcakes, but it seems that he just likes her quirkiness.  After a few failed attempts at making out, and an even worse attempt at actual sex, that leaves Adam bloodied; he has had enough and splits.

Basically, this drives a girl that is already so close to the edge right on over.  She has a brief fling with Anna Ferris, but is still too awkward around sex to do much about it.  It isn’t until she accidentally kills her cat, that May starts to come out of her shell.  You learn very quickly that she should have stayed in that crazy shell of hers.  On Halloween night, she dresses up like her pal Suzie the doll and goes on a quest to find someone who will lover her.  She goes on to murder the receptionist and her new girlfriend, as well as Adam and his new squeeze; and from each victim takes the parts that she likes best.  Once she gets home she begins to construct some sort of Frankenstein monster that is part human and part doll; the only problem is that it can’t see her, since its head is made of fabric. So she does what any insane girl would do: cuts out one of her own eyes so she and her creation can look at each other longingly.

Alex’s Thoughts:  What the shit did I just watch? I still don’t know if I like it or not, but I’m leaning towards the fact that maybe I do, despite it being a really crazy flick.  The main actress, although she kind of looks like Skeletor, pulls off the crazy chick role really well.  The entire thing is well acted, with the exception of Anna Ferris, whose character comes off as too desperate, which was probably her direction, but it seemed forced.  There are some parts of this movie that are pretty gross, and other parts that go a little too slow for my taste; but when she get all ‘dolled’ up and goes out on her body part scavenger hunt it the big payoff.  She is like a completely different person, and the actress is really able to let her talent show through.  If you like oddball horror/dramas this might be worth a watch.  Alex Rates This Movie 6.5/10

Tim’s Thoughts:I found myself really enjoying this odd little movie. I was never bored, and found all of the characters really interesting, and kind of funny. May seems especially sympathetic, which I did not expect, and I found myself wishing that things could just go a little bit differently for her. This isn’t for everyone, and I don’t think this is a straight up horror movie, but I would recommend this to horror fans that like an interesting piece of cinema. Also keep your eyes open for all the Frankenstein references. Tim Rates this Movie 8/10

“So many pretty parts and no pretty wholes”

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Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

In this opera, set in the not too distant future, some sort of plague has decimated the human population.  Many of those left alive are suffering from organ failure. But there is hope in the form of a company called GeneCo; who will gladly get you a transplant and offers easy financing, but should you fail to make a payment… they send in the repo man.  And he isn’t some high school dropout sex offender like that guy who took your car last week, he is a trained surgeon who is going to track you down and cut that organ out of you with no thought as to your comfort or general well-being.  In other words, this medically trained assassin has very poor bed-side manners.

Here are some details about our confusing storyline:  Shilo is our main character, she has a condition that keeps her indoors, her protective father Nate had a wife who died during childbirth, but a drug he gave her is what killed her. In order to keep this from his daughter he secretly works as a repo man for the owner of GeneCo (and former lover of Nate’s dead wife) Largo.  Largo is knocking on Death’s door, and wants to leave his company in responsible hands; be he can’t trust any of his asshole kids.  His daughter Amber (Paris Hilton) is addicted to painkillers and plastic surgery, Luigi is a psychopathic murder and Pavi likes wearing other people’s skin Buffalo Bill style.  He doesn’t have a lot of options, until he meets Shilo, who is out wondering the graveyard behind her house.  Largo offers her a cure to her disorder, knowing full well that she is the daughter of his former lover.

Largo invites Shilo to the Genetic Opera in the town square, where he plans to replace his current star, Blind Mag, with her, but only after she agrees to be cured as part of the show and is therefore in debt to GeneCo.  During the opera Blind Mag is killed after denouncing GeneCo, and other secrets are revealed by Largo:  Nate has been making Shilo sick on purpose to keep her close and away from the outside world, and that he is also a repo man. She doesn’t take to kindly to this, and watches on as Largo kills her dad, then dies himself.  Largo had willed GeneCo to Shilo, who declines to be part of such an evil company.  Yes, it’s a very confusing story, we agree!

Alex’s Thoughts: I just realized something: I don’t like opera. Singing all of your lines to music I can’t hear doesn’t make for a fun time for me. The premise is entertaining, and the visuals are really interesting, but the singing and all of the weird shit is way too overwhelming to me.  It started out alright, with a nice little comic book themed intro, but lost me like 5 minutes in. I’ve tried to watch this once before, and fell asleep; I wasn’t so lucky this time. I will admit there are a few good parts, mainly involving the organ repossession and the Largo kids, who are all crazy and watching them bicker is actually fun. But the slow parts just kill whatever good thoughts I was starting to have for this movie.  I think I would tell most people to give it a try, and I’m sure lots of horror fans would probably like it. You will know in the first 15 minutes if this is for you or not.  Alex Rates This Movie 5/10 

Tim’s Thoughts:This isn’t a good movie, but for some reason, I kinda like it. I think it’s the ambition, and the utter insanity of the premise. Some of the musical numbers are better than others, and yes it’s confusing as hell at times, but I enjoyed watching this all the same.  Whenever this comes up in conversation I find myself defending Repo, and it’s difficult because it’s just so damn weird and inconsistent. I like this, but I don’t expect other people to, so take that into consideration when you see my rating. I am very interested in what other people think about this so please comment and tell me why I’m wrong. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10

“I remember, I dismember. ‘Cause the claims medic gives no anesthetic! 90 days delinquent gets ya’ repo treatment! I’m the masked horror on your street corner! Make your mama mourn ya! I’m the Night Surgeon!”

 View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)

As a small Eastern European town is being besieged by the Turks; the only thing the townsfolk have to lift their spirits is a play about a fictional man who does extraordinary things named Baron Munchausen.  The crowd delights in this whimsical tale until a strange man comes on stage and demands the production stops, as they aren’t getting the details correct.  The man claims to be the real-life Munchausen and tells them that the war going on outside their city gates is because of him.  He thrills the crowd with his apparently true stories of his travels with his group of superhuman servants – the worlds fastest man, strongest man,  also the man with the best hearing, and the fellow with the best eyesight in all the globe.

He sets off to find in his comrades in a hot air balloon make out of knickers, and soon finds a stowaway, a young girl named Sarah, who really wants to go on an adventure.  The baron has no choice but to partner up with the girl, and it isn’t long till the balloon flies up to the moon.  It appears that the Baron has been there before and had an affair with the queen, but her king (Robin Williams) has more on his mind… when he can find it.  His detached head want’s to rule the moon and learn the secrets of the universe, his body just wants to pork all day.  When the two reunite, they realize that the Baron’s presence won’t let that continue, so he is locked up, where he finds the speedy yet old as the hills Berthold (Eric Idle).  They escape from the moon but fall back to earth and into a volcano.

They then run into Vulcan who is right hospitable and invites them to stay in his magma filled kingdom.  He introduces them to his wife, Venus (and young and hot Uma Thurman), who the Baron has also apparently had a tryst with in the past.  They discover the strongman Albrecht working as a maid, and gather him up and are shot out of the volcano into the ocean.  The growing entourage is gobbled up by a whale, and they find the remaining members of their group living inside: eagle-eyed Adolphus and the big-eared and huge-lunged midget Gustavus.  Now that the team is assembled, they wage war on the Sultan and his Turks and try to save the city.

Alex’s Thoughts:   I have been in love with this movie since I was 9-years-old!  It can be extremely crazy at times, but that is what makes it so enjoyable to me.  It was a box office bomb, mostly do to the huge budget at the time, and the very niche market for this film.  You can see the money was well spent, as the sets and attention to detail is fantastic; it’s too bad this wasn’t more popular, as I think a lot of people would like it.  The double casting as the actors in the real world vs the fantasy world is great and I think it is just a really fun movie; and who wouldn’t want to see Robin Williams as the King of the Moon.  The vision of Terry Gilliam is very evident here (it’s a lot like Time Bandits), and thusly Monty Python fans should love it as well. Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This movie is so bizarre that it can be off-putting for those who aren’t prepared for this brain bender of a movie. Now that I have gotten that out of my system, I too love this movie. As a kid, I was entranced by it’s kinetic energy, and it’s dreamlike qualities. It’s funny, it’s sad, it’s tender, it’s weird, it’s Terry Gilliam, and really these are all the things you should expect from one of his movies. If you aren’t a fan, then you should stay away, because this will do absolutely nothing for you. Personally, I really like most of Gilliam’s movies, and this doesn’t disappoint.  Not to contradict Alex, but the Robin Williams part is my least favorite, and even then it’s not bad. Tim Rates This Movie 9/10

“I don’t have time for flatulence and orgasms.  I hate that face you make me make.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue