Category: Comedy Gold


The Brass Teapot (2012)

the-brass-teapot

Although young married couple Alice & John are ass-deep in debt, and John works at a dead end job, they are happy as can be. Making ends meet is difficult, but Alice feels that she is just about to land the perfect job with her degree in art history. While out for a drive, they come across an antique shop, where Alice finds the most beautiful thing she had ever seen: a shiny old teapot. Since they are broke, she just nabs the thing and they drive off into the sunset. The next day she accidentally burns herself on her curling iron, and she finds out that this teapot is something special: every time she hurts herself the teapot spits out cash… hundreds in cash. John comes home later to find the house in a mess and his wife all beat to hell, but also finds thousands of dollars.  Did his sweet wife just turn into a super kinky hooker?

The pair takes turns inflicting both physical and mental pain on each other until the teapot is only kicking out fives and tens. They learn that other people’s pain will result in the teapot spitting out the large sums they were accustomed to, so they do that for a while, but eventually they want a big score, and they realize that they might need to kill someone to get that teapot jackpot. Will they let their greed get the best of them and kill another human being? What is up with the Hasidic Jews who keep robbing them? And is the teapot a thing of pure evil as the old Oriental guys who keeps following them believes?

Alex’s Thoughts: I couldn’t tell if this was going to be a drama, a comedy or a horror movie, as is sometimes the case with low budget indie movies you’ve never heard of.  So I went it blind with just a vague description of the plot.  Immediately I felt a connection with the young couple and was hooked from then on.  It was interesting how two people who initially cared nothing for money or material things, because so obsessed with those things as the movie progressed.  The scenes with the verbal abuse and revealing of some hurtful secrets was a pretty unexpected twist, and you realize that greed has these two in their grasp.  It is well shot, and I loved the actors.  I would highly recommend this one.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: The Brass Teapot is the quintessential Indie movie. It’s quirky, weird, not marketable by major studios, and a cast of up and comers that you will be seeing a lot more of in the future. There isn’t anything I really loved about this, but it’s funny enough, and the premise is unique. It’s a smart and unusual movie, and the talented cast keeps it interesting, the side characters especially. It does have flaws, a lot of common sense questions, and some unexplored avenues that I felt would have been interesting. So without spoiling the movie I will say that while far from perfect this is a solid movie, that is different enough to almost be refreshing, almost. Definitely worth a watch if you like independent movies, and there are laughs to be had. Tim Rates This Movie: 7/10

teapot 2

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

Advertisements

Sadly, Not My Biopic

My Awkward Sexual Adventure (2012)

my adventure

Mild-mannered account, and general schmuck, Jordan is just about as boring as a person can be.  He takes crap from his co-workers and his bitch of a girlfriend, who falls asleep every time they have sex.  Jordan has been in love with Rachel since third grade, and she’s finally given him a chance, but he is way too boring and average for a wildcat like her. She breaks up with him as he is proposing right before their vacation to the big city of Montreal.  Jordan just thinks they need some time apart and waits for her to join him on his trip.  Of course she doesn’t show, and he goes to drown his sorrows at the local gentleman’s club, where he befriends a kindly stripper named Julia.

Julia is in a bit of a bind herself; she’s broke and wants to quit grinding on strangers, and open a restaurant.  Jordan offers her help with her finances in exchange for sex lessons, so he can win back Rachel.   Things progress awkwardly as you would imagine, and as befits a romantic comedy, the two opposites begin to have feeling for each other.  Once successfully trained in the art of making whoopee, Jordan goes back to Rachel, who has been slutting it up big time while he was away, but has also been missing him.  She agrees to marry him and all seems to be going well, until Jordan realizes that he really loves Julia, and he returns to her in typical movie-like fashion.

Alex’s Thoughts: Although you know exactly what’s going to happen 10 minutes in, and this storyline has been done many times before, this movie was still able to keep my attention.  The acting was unexpectedly good, and I really found myself pulling for old Jordan… the lovable putz that he is.  There wasn’t anything mind-blowing or that original with this; it’s just a fun movie that doesn’t require too much thought, and you can just sit back with a date and enjoy.  There is something for both the guys and gals in this flick, and I think most people would enjoy it. Alex Rates This Movie 7/10

View The IMDB Entry for This Movie Here

My_Awkward_Sexual_Adventure

John Dies At the End (2012)

John-Dies-at-the-End-poster

Instead of trying to explain this very strange plot to you (it would sound liked jumbled up metaphors and nonsense) I will just tell you this: This movie is nothing but jumbled up metaphors and nonsense, sprinkled with some interesting philosophical questions. Okay, fine, here’s a basic outline: Dave and John are best friends that seem to be paranormal experts, as in they help people with their supernatural problems. They are qualified to do this due to the space/future/another dimension drug they take. It’s called Soy Sauce, and it gives them clairvoyance, and the ability to see things that other people can’t. Dave want’s to tell his story, so he contacts a reporter named Arnie, and proceeds to tell him how he and John save the world with the help of a dog named Bark Lee. An alien by the name of Korrok is going dimension to dimension conquering all in his path, and our Earth is next. Without being too spoilery, not everything is as it seems as Dave, John and a few friends fight off strange leech monsters, weird bee monsters that infest a host then blow it up, and a strange group of topless folks that wear bizarre masks. Needless to say that Soy Sauce is some powerful shit!

Alex’s Thoughts: After ten minutes in I thought this might be one of my new favorite movies, and then after twenty minutes I couldn’t remember what I liked about it. It went from what I thought was a buddy monster-hunting duo comedy into just a strange tale that lost me almost immediately.  Although there was very little that I understood, I thought the acting was still really good and I will watch anything with Paul Giamatti (Fred Claus excluded), and that goes the same for Mr. Eugene Krabbs himself, Clancy Brown.  It was almost too strange to watch, but somehow I thought it would get better if I kept watching, but it got stranger and stranger. I’m not sure what to think of it right now. It’s interesting for sure, but I don’t know if that is enough for me to say that it was good. Maybe it warrants a second viewing, or a reading of the book it’s based on.  Alex Rates This Movie 6/10

Tim’s Thoughts:This movie has a lot of problems, some weird plot holes, and Soy Sauce seems to be able to do whatever the plot requires. That being said, I will watch this again, if not only to try to understand it better, but also because I enjoyed the hell out of it. The strange philosophy, the goofy coincidences, and the odd jokes that seemed to hit all the right chords with me. I really enjoyed this despite all the problems that it has. It’s kinetic stream of consciousness kept me glued to the TV as I kept wondering where the hell this movie was going. Be ready for some really crazy stuff, but I say watch this. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10

John-Dies-at-the-End

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (2011)

orgy poster

Eric (Jason Sudeikis) and his friends throw the best summer parties at his dad’s Hampton beach house; all that is about to change though, since his dad is putting the house up for sale.  Eric is bummed out, so he and his pals try to think up a great theme for their last big hurrah.  And as the title would suggest, this close group of friends decide on having an orgy on Labor Day weekend.

As the weeks pass and everyone gets closer and closer to the time when they will be having sex with their long-time friends, naturally some people are a little stressed out. Whether it is the guys worrying about performance, or the girls about their appearance, everyone is a little anxious.  To complicate things even more, Eric has fallen for his realtor, and doesn’t know how to bring up the fact of what’s going on at his dad’s place.  The group ends up having a great time, and it brings them all a little closer together, if you can believe that. In addition to Sudeikis; Nick Kroll, Leslie Bibb, LakeBell, Will Forte & Tyler Labine also star in this raunchy comedy.

Alex’s Thoughts:  This was one of those movie that was in and out of the theaters in a week, so I was pretty sure that it was either A) awful, or B) the name just put most people off.  After watching it, I would say it was probably the fact that people were too embarrassed to ask for a ticket to “that orgy movie”, because it is a pretty decent flick.  It has a good cast, especially the guys, all of whom are some very funny dudes.  There are some great lines back and forth between Eric and the realtor, and it seems like it was kind of forced at points, but was still really funny.  You can’t help but share in their awkwardness when it is orgy time, but you also sort of grown at the cheesiness of the whole thing once it gets going.  If you are in the mood for a good comedy with a bit of naughty in it, give this one a try.  Alex Rates This Movie 7.5/10

“I never thought I’d say this, but I need a break from watching this girl-on-girl… on-girl action. I need to check the Yankees score.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue.

Sightseers (2012)

Extra Sightseers

A dating couple decide to get away for a nice little holiday. Chris brings his mother-oppressed girlfriend Tina out for a trip in his caravan on what he says will be a sightseeing trip and a sexual escape.  A few days out, Chris gets irate at a litterbug who repeatedly refuses to pick up his trash. Not on Chris’ watch, as he backs over him with the RV.  Everyone assumes it is an accident, and they go on about their trip. A few days later Chris kills a guy at their RV park just for being dickish.

Soon Tina realizes that her boyfriend is a murderer, but doesn’t seem to mind, as it makes England a better place.  After catching Chris smooching on another girl, Tina tries her hand at murder, but Chris wants to wear the killing pants in this relationship.  Chris goes over the edge when Tina begins killing for fun and taking out joggers and cyclists left and right. Will the killing stop here, or is this a murdering match made in hell?

Alex’s Thoughts:  We recently saw this at a screening at Horrorhound Weekend and were pleasantly surprised by this one, as most movies screened there are either really good, or just God awful. While billed as a horror flick, I think it’s more comedy that horror, though there are some gruesome deaths with plenty of gore (think Shaun of the Dead). Though slow at times, there were a lot of really funny parts, with the actress who played Tina just nailing that great dry British humor.  It isn’t side-splitting comedy, but the jokes are well thought out and are plentiful.  If you have the chance, I would think most people would enjoy this flick even if you aren’t into horror.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10

Tim’s Thoughts:I keep going back and forth on this movie. It’s good, and it’s funny, but there were a few things that bothered me. The Chris character kind of made me nuts, I had a hard time caring about him or his motivations, while his girlfriend Tina is amazing. She is the highlight of the movie by far, and without her it would be nearly a complete loss. The director tries a bit too hard with lingering shots of landscapes, I know this movie is about sightseeing, but for me it constantly brought everything to a standstill. Despite my gripes, I strongly suggest that anyone who enjoys British humor, with a splash of violence. I think it gets a bit ponderous at times, and that will alienate casual viewers, but if you want to see something unique, definitely watch Sightseers. Tim Rates This Movie 7/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

FDR: American Badass (2012)

fdr american badass poster

While out in the woods on a hunting trip, New York governor Franklin Delano Roosevelt is attacked by a werewolf, and suffers a bite to the leg before dispatching the beast.  As any good doctor will tell you: werewolf bites give you polio.  FDR is now confined to a wheelchair with his ‘shriveled little polio legs’ (don’t worry ladies, his dong still works fine), but that isn’t going to stop him from saving the US from future werewolf attacks.  With the support of the American people behind him, he is elected president, and learns that the werewolf that attacked him was a Nazi. In fact, all members of the Axis Powers are werewolves including Hitler, Mussolini and Hirohito

He has no choice but to get involved in WWII, but he isn’t content to send soldiers into battle against these monsters alone; he will be joining them!  Equipped with a machine gun laden and rocket-firing wheelchair, and joined by his trusty sidekicks General Douglas McArthur (a.k.a. Dougie Mac) and the ghost of Abe Lincoln, he takes the fight to NormandyBeach. Much hilarity ensues with foul language aplenty, gratuitous nudity, horribly racist jokes and the lots of things you wouldn’t expect to hear from a bunch of old men.

Alex’s Thoughts: Here is the thing; this movie as just as insane as the plot suggests, but sometime that’s a good thing. This is the type of flick where you go in not expecting a lot, so if it is halfway decent, you come out feeling alright for having spent your time watching, and if it’s awful you shut it off… no big deal.  I knew about 5 minutes in that I was invested for the entire movie.  There is something about old men cussing and quoting 90’s rap songs that just makes me smile.  I am actually looking forward to seeing this again, if you can believe it.  It’s stupid for stupid’s sake and knows exactly what it is, and it is perfectly done in that regard  Bostwick is awesomely funny with both dry and over-the-top humor, and the three-way call between the werewolf Axis leaders made me laugh the entire time it was on screen.  Probably not a movie for everyone, but if go in with an open mind and just want a laugh, you should have a good time.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This movie is completely asinine and terrible. The effects are awful, the plot is ridiculous, and worst of all it is the least historically accurate movie ever made, that being said, I laughed my ass off. Not all the jokes land, but between the shock value and the comedic performances from the leads, this movie is a lot of fun. I can’t recommend this to everyone, mostly because it’s pretty offensive consistently, but to those inclined toward this type of humor; have at it. The same director also made Poolboy 2, and it’s just as silly. I will be keeping an eye out for his next project, because while these movies are terrible, they are my kind of terrible. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10

fdr american badass hitler wolf

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

The Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987)

Evil Dead 2 poster

Ash and his girlfriend Linda find a remote cabin in which to spend the weekend/ get their freak on.  It looks to have been recently deserted and upon further inspection Ash finds a tape recorder and a freaky looking book.  After playing the tape, we learn that this Book of the Dead has the power to unleash demons if the passages are read aloud, cue tape player and… boom, Linda is snatched from the cabin by an unseen force but returns as a possessed monster trying to eat Ash’s face off.  He cuts her head clean off, but we are only like 10 minutes into this movie, so things are gonna get worse right? Right. Here is what happens to the poor chap:

  • Linda’s reanimated corpse attacks, and her severed head takes a bite out of his hand.
  • Ash’s hand (now possessed) attempts to kill him any way it can. Not wanting to be murdered by a part of his own body, Ash takes a chainsaw and lops that bitch off!
  • The severed hand runs amuck through the house still trying to kill him and flipping him off whenever it gets the chance.
  • The evil forces do their best to drive Ash crazy by animating everything inside the cabin and Ash slowly loses his shit.
  • The cabin’s owner’s daughter shows up with a friend and their guides: Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel and his hilljack girlfriend, who is shot by Ash trying to enter the cabin.
  • Cletus knocks him out and throws him in the cellar as the new arrivals listen to the rest of the tape explaining how the owner’s wife was possessed and buried in said cellar.
  • Ash barely escapes from the beast down there, and soon most of the rest of the group become possessed.
  • He and the owner’s daughter fight for their lives as Ash equips himself with a new chainsaw hand and a shotgun (groovy), as the daughter tries to open a portal to suck up the monsters.
  • Portal is now open, but the severed hand kills her as Ash gets sucked into a dimensional rift.
  • He is shat out in 14th century England which is full of monsters and he is believed to be the savior of the people there… to be continued in the sequel: Army of Darkness.

Alex’s Thoughts: Take the original Evil Dead and mix in a few choice episodes of The Three Stooges, and this movie is what you get.  It is just the right amount of horror and comedy, and might be one of the best movies out there, in my opinion. Sure the horror special effects are a little cheesy, but I think that is sort of the point.  Where The Evil Dead was a low-budget horror, Evil Dead II takes everything good about that movie, adds a deeper story, better cast and makes the lead not such a wimp this time around. I love this thing and will never get tired of watching it. Alex Rates This Movie 10/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This doesn’t have the scares, or the shock of Evil Dead 1, but it sure as hell is a lot of fun. This is one of the few movies that pulls off the perfect mix of horror and comedy. Nobody does it like the King, and Campbell will always be the King. Anyone who watches this needs to realize a few things, first of all, don’t take it seriously, and second, this is some choice movie making. Rami is innovative, and I can’t wait to see more horror/comedy from him, so when he get’s back from Oz I hope he dives back into his bread and butter. Hail to the King baby. Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

ash evil dead 2

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

The Muppet Movie (1979)

the muppet movie poster

As Kermit sits in his swamp singing away, an agent rows up and tells him he should go into show business.  With nothing better to do, he heads west toward Hollywood. Along the way he meets up with the usual suspects: The Bear, The Pig, The Dog, The Whatever and the members of The Electric Mayhem, among others. It’s just basically how they all met interspersed with cameos from today’s (read 1979) biggest stars, all the while the owner of a chain of frog’s legs restaurants is hunting Kermit.

Alex’s Thoughts: The plot of this movie, like the Muppets themselves, is very basic but oh so rewarding.  Like Tim, I grew up loving the Muppet Show and watching it whenever I could, which was followed by begging to go see the additional movies every couple of years.  While probably not the best Muppet movie, it is a great example of the brilliance of Jim Henson and Frank Oz and what they could accomplish. Even as an adult I am baffled by some of the basic effects of this movies and how they are able to achieve so much with puppets, and how you forget that that is what they actually are after a while.  Here’s hoping that the current Muppets resurgence continues to thrive, so new generations can love them as much as we did.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts:This is my favorite of all the Muppet movies, but I will watch any of them at any time. This may seem a bit dated, (especially if you don’t recognize the people in the cameos) but the music and comedy should easily carry you through. I fully admit I am biased, but there are few movies that bring me more joy than this. The part most amazing to me is how they pull this off, the Muppets move around so naturally, and the effects still look good. Especially the Animal one at the end. If you haven’t seen this, get off your duff and get your family together for a great time. Tim Rates This Movie 10/10(This is one of my all time favorite movies.)

The Muppet Movie

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

The Doctor Is In

Doctor Detroit (1983)

Doctor Detroit Poster

Times are rough for Chicago pimp, Smooth Walker.  He owes a local mob boss, by the name of Mom, about $80k, and she is more than happy to break as many bones as necessary to get her cash.  Smooth tells her that a Michigan pimp who calls himself Doctor Detroit came in and took all his money and his stable of girls.  Mom wants to have a word with this Doctor fella ASAP.  Here’s the thing: Doctor Detroit doesn’t exist, Smooth just made him up on the spot and actually spent all the money he owes Mom on himself.  He needs to find some schmuck to pretend to be the Doctor so he can skip town.

Enter mild-mannered college professor Clifford Skridlow (Dan Aykroyd). Smooth finds this guy at a restaurant and takes him out for the time of his life, gives him some sexy time with his ladies and convinces him that this is the life he should be leading. Now Clifford is stuck with these girls he needs to protect, as Mom is looking to get her money.  Clifford must play the part of super pimp Doctor Detroit and try to reason with the mobster.  Things get hectic as Detroit is now the most famous playa in town, while Cliff tries to manage his professional life and the lives of his ‘professionals’. Everything culminates at a reception for the college he works at, and the annual Playa’s Ball, all set to a dance number with James Brown!

Alex’s Thoughts: I remember this being funnier…funny… somewhat funny?  I really don’t think adult me likes this movie anymore. I want so badly to like Dan Aykroyd in everything he’s in, but I just don’t.  The first time you see him in the Doctor Detroit costume it is somewhat amusing, but then it is quickly lost within the slow pace of the rest of the movie. If you simply need a young Fran Drescher fix, or want to watch a white comic awkwardly dance with a bunch of black people, this is the one for you.  If you are just looking for a good Aykroyd flick, watch Spies Like Us instead. Alex Rates This Movie 3/10.

Tim’s Thoughts: There are better Dan Aykroyd movies out there, but this isn’t that bad. I think despite it’s age, there are some funny parts, and Aykroyd does the the stick-in-the-mud character pretty well. But this isn’t even the best 80’s straight man turned pimp movie we have reviewed for the blog. I liked this as a kid, but like most of those movies, they are better fondly remembered. Tim Rates This Movie 5/10

“I warn you, I’m a chiropractor! I will use my skills negatively!”

dr detorit hos

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

safety

While in a pitch meeting at a magazine, a reporter brings up an odd article he saw in a local newspaper’s classifieds section that read as follows:

“Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 91 Ocean View, WA 99393. You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.”

The editor is sure this person who placed the ad is a wacko, but sends the reporter to Ocean View with two interns. One of the interns, Darius (Aubrey Plaza), is just going through the motions of life, and have never really gotten over the death of her mother years before. She agrees to go with the reporter, Jeff, as she has nothing better to do.  They track down the author of the ad, a grocery store stocker by the name of Kenneth (Mark Duplass), and he does seem sort of odd as they suspected.  Jeff approaches him to apply for the time travel assistant job, but it is clear he isn’t the person Kenneth is looking for and so he tells him to piss off.  Darius decides to give it a shot, and seems to earn Kenneth’s initial trust, but it isn’t going to be that easy. He has to be sure that she isn’t with the government and isn’t associated with the people who have been following him around. Oh boy.

Darius is put through a training montage of Ken’s awful martial arts and John Wu-like target practice, and is forced to be an accomplice when Ken steals some lasers for the time machine, which he isn’t ready to show her just yet.  The guy is obviously not right in the head, but Darius sees something special in him; despite his quirks and the fact that he thinks he can time travel, she is starting to fall for him.  He is so passionate about the time travel, that she starts to believe that just maybe he might be able to do it.  It’s then that she meets the people who really are following him; after linking him to other robberies of odd scientific stuff they are sure he is a terrorist of some sort.  Has Darius fallen for a guy building a bomb, or can this stock boy have really invented a time machine?

Alex’s Thoughts: To be honest, I only watched this because I love Mark Duplass on The League and Abury Plaza on Parks and Rec, and thought the two of them together would be watchable despite the story.  I was pleased to see that there was a lot going on in this thing, and your opinons about that characters change as the movie goes on, and culminates in an interesting ending.  It was interesting to try to figure out just how crazy Kenneth is. This should appeal to both sexes and there is something in it for everyone. Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: I had no idea what to expect when I popped this in my DVD player, I have been disappointed by these “quirky” independent comedies lately, but this time around I was pleasantly surprised. It has many layers as all the characters have something to do, and actually evolve, which seems to be a rarity in films these days. I won’t give anything away, but I didn’t see the ending coming, at all. I really enjoyed watching this, and I am hoping that we can get a few more people to check it out. Tim Rates This Movie: 9/10

“I don’t know what he’s doing with those lasers, I’m not a freakin’ storm trooper.”

Safety_Not_Guaranteed_3-1024x576

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.