Category: Action Jackson

Escape From L.A. (1996)


In the sequel to 1981’s Escape for New York, we find our antihero Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell)  trying to escape from yet another post-apocalyptic mega city, this time it’s the City of Angles.  LA has become a penal colony after an earthquake turned it into an island, and is now only inhabited by the dregs of society.  Gun-for-hire Snake, winds up getting shipped off there after being captured by the Feds, but they have a deal for him: find a doomsday weapon that the president’s rebel daughter stole and we might give you the antidote to the deadly virus we just injected you with.  With no other choice he travels to the island in search of the weapon, now in the hands or the terrorist Cuervo Jones.

It isn’t going to be as easy as just going up to the guy and asking nicely, he is going to have to perform some off the wall and highly impractical feats to even get near the guy.  Snake will have to surf a 100 foot wave, escape from a group of plastic surgery addicts, shoot some hoops for his life and also hang-glide from Hollywood to Disneyland.  Once the mission is a success, he’s a little peeved at how the government used him (again), and decides to use the super-weapon against them.

Alex’s Thoughts:  What this movie lacks in quality it make up for in sheer awfulness. Wait… no… that’s sounds about right.  While John Carpenter’s previous movie was sort of charming and inventive it in’s own low-budget way, this one copies the exact same premise but without any of the charm, it’s just bad, and seems like it was just a cash grab flick.   While I do like Kurt Russell, he didn’t look to be giving it his best, and seemed like his best physical acting days were behind him.  With awful dialog, poorly choreographed fight scenes and low-rate special effects, it is easy to forget about this movie.  Its one redeeming quality is that it has Bruce Campbell in what could have been a great role as the Surgeon General of Beverly Hills, but it was totally underutilized.  If you need a good escape flick, you might want to check out Lockout instead.  Alex Rates This Movie 3/10.

Tim’s Thoughts: Oh, I want to like this so badly, every few years I will even go back to give it another shot, but it’s soooooo awful. There is nothing good about this, nothing at all. It’s a waste of time, and a sign that Carpenter’s good years were way behind him. I don’t know what else to say other than that the effects are so terrible that I can barely sit through it. MST3K would destroy this, and then like Pod People or Mitchell it could become a favorite. Until that happens, avoid this dumpster fire at all costs. Tim Rates This Movie 1/10

Cuevo Jones

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.


Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)


(Minor Spoilers Ahead) The crew of the USS Enterprise is back again, and ready to head out into space in pursuit of a Federation operative turned terrorist, in the sequel to JJ Abrams 2009 Star Trek reboot.  They end up finding him on the Klingon home planet, and he eventually saves them from a squad of those gnarly-headed aliens, so they have no choice but to take him back to the ship; although their orders were to kill him on site.  He tells Kirk that his orders were bogus and that he is the good guy in all of this. He also lets him know that he is a three-hundred year old super powered guy, who used to go by the name of Khan Noonien Singh (sound familiar?).

He ends up tricking the crew into helping him steal a giant Federation warship from a power-hungry admiral who wants to start a war with the Klingons.  Khan then attacks the Enterprise, who also retaliates against Khan’s ship, as both of them plummet towards Earth.  In a last ditch effort to save his crew Kirk takes over Spock’s role in Wrath of Khan, and sacrifices himself to get the engines back online.  Spock’s human side experiences a bit of rage and goes after Khan on what remains of San Francisco after his ship destroys half the city.

Alex’s Thoughts: While never a huge Trek fan, I grew up with the original movies, and I liked them well enough to be excited about the re-boot of this franchise a few years back.  While that movie looked good, I didn’t love it… but I DO love this sequel.  With all of the character introductions and back-stories out of the way, we are able to jump right into the action, and son, there is a ton of it.  From Khan taking out a squad of Klingons to some epic space battles, there is plenty of special effect eye candy for everyone.  There were some nice throwbacks to the original Star Trek II for fans of the series, and you even get a little Tribble action!  While I really enjoyed this movie, it really got me excited to see what JJ Abrams has in store for Star Wars in 2015.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10.

Tim’s Thoughts: I am a big fan of original series Trek, and unlike a lot of those fans, I really appreciate the update the series is getting. The last few Next Gen films were just as bad as the last few original cast films, so I thought Trek was finished. I was so happy with the reboot, and loved the direction that the movie was taking that I was anticipating this sequel moments after Trek 08 ended. This does not disappoint, now you have to leave your love of old Trek at the door, and be ready to accept new takes on old themes, but if you can manage that, you will get some great Sci-Fi. I am glad to see the genre not only survive, but thrive now with the rise of comic book movies, and nerd culture. Enjoy this as action, Trek, or both, either way, this is a good time. Tim Rates This Movie 9/10


View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)


Irish Engineer John Patterson (Val Kilmer) has been tasked by a railroad company to build a bridge over a river in Africa; the catch is that he only has five months in which to complete his task, and his a-hole boss will not accept failure.   No big whoop; he’s good at what he does, plus his wife is preggers and due in six months, so he will be home by then.  Upon arriving in Africa, he sets to work, only to have one of the workers attacked by a lion.  It just so happens that Patterson is an expert hunter, so he camps out in the trees that night and kills the beast responsible, which equals a big hero for the locals.  Things go on without incident for a few more weeks, which is until another lion attack.

This time it isn’t so much as a bite and a complete dismemberment.  The local workers are scared but he killed the lion last time he can do it again.  Time and time again the beast kills and evades his capture, but that’s because there are two lions, and they are good at what they do: kill humans for the fun of it.  With his boss on his case, Patterson brings in an American professional hunter named Remington (Michael Douglas) to kill the animals, but he doesn’t fare much better. With the death toll over 40, the rest of the workers scram leaving Remington and Patterson to face the beasts alone.

Alex’s Thoughts:  This movie got slammed by critics when it came out, and watching it, you can easily see why: Kilmer can’t do any sort of an accent and Michael Douglas rushes through everything like he would rather be somewhere else.  Main acting aside, the rest of the movie is good in my opinion, and I have always liked this flick.  The story is great (and true) and it’s set in a beautiful location.  The effects are spotty, but working with live lions probably isn’t the easiest thing in the world.  I can overlook the acting because it is a good story, and hopefully this might get remade someday with some good CGI effects. This will want to make you rush to the Field Museum in Chicago to see the lions that killed at least 100 men, which are there on display. Alex Rates This Movie 7/10 

Tim’s Thoughts:I think Kilmer’s Irish accent is fine, and while Micheal Douglas isn’t amazing in this, the rest of the characters are pretty interesting. The pacing is snappy, and the story moves along well and keeps your attention. I liked this movie a lot when it first came out, and my opinion hasn’t changed. The directing is solid and the story holds up, I need to do some research to see how true all of the movie is, but I have seen the lion at the Field Museum, so I know that much is real. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10


View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

The Raid: Redemption (2011)


A specialized SWAT team is preparing to take down a crime boss who is holed-up at the top of an apartment building.  They gain entry to the building and go room by room and floor by floor securing the building and trying up anyone they find along the way.  They don’t get much resistance until they get to the sixth floor, that is when the lights go out and a voice is heard throughout the building’s PA system. That voice belongs to the crime boss, and he offers a reward to anyone who can kill some of these cops.  The commanding officer asks his lieutenant to send backup, but he refuses since this operation is off the books and classified.  They are on their own.

It isn’t long before the SWAT team is decimated and only a few survivors remain.  It will be up to our hero Rama to take on hundreds of thugs and work his way to the top floor to complete his mission.  He ditches his guns in favor of a knife in order to do a little wet work, but he isn’t above using his feet and fists when needed.  All sorts of ass is kicked on his way up, and he takes a beating himself, but soon the tables will turn and a dastardly plot is revealed, but he receives some help from an unlikely source.

Alex’s Thoughts: I went into this not knowing anything, just that Netflix recommend that I watch it, which isn’t always a good sign based on all of the crap I see.  A couple other sites said it was good, so I decided to try it out, and was not disappointed.  It is a good old fashioned action movie like I grew up with in the 80’s: lots of fighting, lots of shooting and special effects kept down to a minimum.  There are a few fight scenes that are over the top, and I found myself laughing out loud, but it adds to the fun of it all.  The only issue that I have is, while the fights are really well choreographed, they are a little too obviously choreographed.  I know that’s just because they are so complex, but it doesn’t look very natural.  other than that, I loved it. It was a good story, with decent acting and much ass was kicked.  Guys who like action movies will love it.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This is easily one of the best action movies I have seen in recent memory. All of the fight scenes are so much fun and the director is bold, there are very few quick cuts, and most of the action takes place during long takes. There are very few obvious special effects and I  can’t remember a point where it looked like wire work was used. I kept laughing out loud at how crazy the fights got, and I was genuinely excited consistently throughout this entire movie. After sitting through some clunkers, it is refreshing to see something this much fun. I have been recommending to people I talk to, and I will continue to do so. Probably the most fulfilling  action movie in the last 10 years.  Tim Rates This Movie 10/10


View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue.

Lawless (2012)

Lawless Poster Group

It’s 1931 and prohibition is in full swing.  Luckily for those who need to get their drink on, the Bondurant brothers of rural Virginia are happy to offer up their premium moonshine for sale.  Things are going well for the trio; between the shine money and the profits from the gas station they run, they don’t want for anything.  Well two of them don’t. The youngest brother Jack (Shia LaBeouf) has dreams of fancy suits and new cars, but the head of the gang, Forrest (Tom Hardy), is content the way things are. It isn’t long before a corrupt district attorney tries to extort money from all of all the local moonshiners, then things start to go south. All the others gladly turn over a cut of their profits in exchange for the law turning a blind eye towards their operations, but not the Bondurants. No sir.  In fact they are going to sell more shine that ever, now that they can sell cheaper then their competition.

Well, the DA and his thugs don’t much care for that, so they go after Forrest, and after slitting his throat and damn near killing him, things fall on Jack to keep things going. He partners up with a gangster (Gary Oldman) and now the product is really moving.  With this new partnership the money is rolling in, and Jack is showing off all the things he can buy to anyone who will watch. This draws a lot of attention and people close to them start to get hurt. Eventually this leads to a standoff between all the local moonshiners and the DA’s forces.  Either the county will go dry or the Bondurant brothers will get their revenge.

Alex’s Thoughts: With the exception of Mr. LaBeouf, I would say this is one of the better casts recently assembled: Gary Oldman, Guy Pierce & Tom Hardy are all wonderful actors with all sorts of range, and together that makes for good movie watching.  With not enough Oldman for my liking, you still have Guy Pierce as the DA’s ruthless enforcer who you can wait for to get his and although Tom Hardy’s character doesn’t speak much, you still know exactly what his intentions are without any dialogue, simply by his on-screen presence. The story is good, albeit somewhat predictable, but that acting is where it’s at in this one.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10.

Tim’s Thoughts: I am in love with this movie just for the cast, the problem is, I didn’t find it entirely satisfying. I kept wanting just a little bit more, it seemed to be missing something that could have really made this movie great. Not that it’s bad, because it isn’t, but there is just something I can’t explain, just out of reach that I really wanted to see in this. Despite these things, I would watch this cast in anything, and I dare anyone to take their eyes off of Guy Pierce for one second, it’s impossible, and of course Tom Hardy is the best. Plus it’s scored by one of my favorite musicians Nick Cave, so with everything going for it, I would have to say you should see this, even if it’s just for the performances. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10

“It is not the violence that sets men apart, alright, it is the distance that he is prepared to go.”

lawless brothers

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

Universal Soldier (1992)

Luc Devereux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is deep in the shit in Vietnam, which is further complicated by his sergeant, Andrew Scott (Dolph Lundgren), killing a village full of peaceful locals. Scott has completely lost it, thinking everyone is a traitor, including Private Devereux, who just wants to go home.  Reinforcements arrive right after the two soldiers kill each other.  Instead of listing the men killed-in-action, they report the entire platoon missing; the Army has plans for these corpses.  We jump 20 years into the future where the Army is using genetically enhanced soldiers to perform specialized missions. Guess who is part of that team?  That’s right, Devereux and Scott, renamed as GR-44 & GR-13 respectively.  They are the test subjects of some super-secret government experiment that revives dead tissue, and with the addition of tons of steroids, creates the perfect weapon.

Things have been going well up until their latest mission, when GR-13 starts having ‘Nam flashbacks and remembers that GR-44 is sort of a dickhead.  This happens again later and GR-13 escapes the program along with a female reporter, whom he was supposed to kill.  Together they flee from the Army, but are being followed with orders to terminate on-site.  GR-13 instincts tell him what he wanted to do just before he died: go home, and a now fully aware, GR-44 has the same instincts: kill all traitors.  An epic fight is about to ensue with a battle between JCVD and Ivan Drago. Who will win? Who will live to be in the next THREE sequels? Huh, we didn’t even know they made one.

Alex’s Thoughts: Once you put in the DVD and see the awful menus, you sort of know what’s coming next.  It’s a pretty standard 90’s action flick, with heavy emphasis on blowing things all to hell.  Everything about it is pretty forgettable, but is entertaining for most guys while you are watching it.  The fact that the main actors are basically robots through most of it helps the fact that they are there more for their muscles than their acting chops. But don’t worry, Van Damme snaps out of cyborg mode long enough at the end to deliver some snappy one-liners, and Lundgren might give Mickey Rourke a run for his money when it comes to playing crazy.  If you remember watching this back in the day, it might be fun to re-watch it. If not, you might just want to pass. Alex Rates This Movie: 6/10 

Tim’s Thoughts: I first saw this when I was 15, and thought “wow, that movie has it all, JCVD, He-Man, and that crazy black guy with the crooked eye.” Now I watch this movie and I say “Yep, JCVD, He-Man, and a blonde lady who’s so obnoxious she makes Kate Capshaw tolerable.”  It’s not that bad for what it is, so if you want a popcorn action movie, that feels VERY 90’s (I realize that’s a very specific desire) then check it out. I don’t know, maybe you are watching Under Siege, or Hard Target, and want some more, either way pretty standard, and nothing really special here. It’s no Timecop that’s for sure. Tim Rates This Movie: 6/10

“Do you have a family, a friend? Is there a Mrs. 44 waiting for you some place?”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to you Netflix queue.

Bad Ass Mofo!

Bad Ass (2012)

Frank Vega (Danny Trejo) has had sort of a shitty life: after spending seven years deep in the shit in Vietnam, he returns to find that his girlfriend already has a new family of her own, and that an injury he received in the war prevents him from becoming a cop. Frank has spent the last forty years manning a hot dog cart, and really has nothing to show for it.  One day, while on a bus, he sees some skinhead punks messing with an old man.  After trying peacefully to get them to stop, he has to resort to kicking their asses.  This whole thing is caught on video, and before you know it, Frank is a YouTube sensation!  Now everyone knows his name and he’s a local hero and celebrity whom everyone calls ‘Bad Ass’.

After his mother passes, Frank and an old Army buddy movie into his mom’s place, which isn’t in the best neighborhood.  This friend gives Frank a flash drive to hold on to for safe keeping, and it’s a good thing, because the guy is killed for it 5 minutes later by some thugs.  Upset at the speed the police department is working, Frank checks out the crime scene himself; he finds a bullet casing and a necklace with a locket that the police somehow missed in the 4 square foot crime scene. He goes to a pawn shop to get the bullet identified, and the clerk just happens to know the girl in the locket. That girl happens to know where the guy whose locket it is plays b-ball, and the guys there happen to know someone who knows something else.  This goes on and on for a while in a very linier path until he meets up with one of the shooters. After forcing his hand into a garbage disposal, the guy spills the beans.

It seems the mayor (Ron Perlman) is working with a crime boss to make a neighborhood so violent that everyone moves out, so then they can move in and buy the land which has oil on it.  Bad Ass tracks down the crime boss who goes by the name of Panther.  This whole movie Frank kicks every guy’s ass he comes across, but this old fat man gets the better of him.  Frank escapes and a low-speed bus chase ensues with the pair eventually fighting in Frank’s front yard.  He beats this guy down and saves the hood from the evil mayor and even lands the hot black chick that lives next door. Right on, Frank!

Alex’s Thoughts: This movie should have been much more fun, but it was just boring.  The linier storyline was way too predictable, and there were no surprises.  It was sort of like Rumble in the Bronx meets Hobo with a Shotgun, but with very little going for it.  Again it seems like Trejo and Perlman will say yes to anyone who hands them a script and a check, and that is just sort of sad in a way.  I think Trejo has some clause in his contract that says he needs to see boobs on set at least once, because there is always a scene with him alone in a room with a topless chick.  Good for you, you old ass butt kicking hombre.  Alex Rates This Movie 4/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This should be called, “I’d rather be watching Machete”, because that’s all I was thinking the entire time I had this on. It’s loosely based on a true story and it is equally loose with plausibility. It’s too convenient, and full of tropes, barely anything original or interesting throughout the entire movie. It’s also hard to take Danny Trejo serious as he is wearing a fanny pack the entire time. Meh, kind of  a waste of time. Tim Rates This Movie 3/10

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The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

We attended a trilogy viewing of all three batman movies last night, which were Batman Begins and The Dark Knight followed by a midnight viewing of what might be one of the most anticipated movies of all time. Our plot and reviews are as spoiler free as possible, but there might be one or two, so read at your own risk.

Eight years have passed since the death of district attorney Harvey Dent, and of the Batman taking the blame for all of Dent’s murders from when he was driven insane by the Joker.  Not only has Batman not been seen for almost a decade, but neither has Bruce Wayne; who has become a recluse inside his mansion, consumed by the death of Rachel Dawes, and is in pretty rough shape after the beatings taken as Batman.  It takes a visit from a ‘cat’ burglar to kick him out of his funk, and it soon becomes clear a storm is brewing in Gotham City, and he is going to need to come out of retirement, no matter what the costs.

In addition to the very attractive thief, there is a new baddie in town, the crafty mercenary known as Bane.  He plans to destroy Gotham and will not take no for an answer.  Batman isn’t alone in his fight for the city; police Commissioner Gordon as well as a hot-shot young cop named John Blake aim to stop Bane and his army of goons who have taken complete control over the city, with no one allowed to come or go. Will this brute be the end of the bat? Or will Wayne knock off the rust and kick a little more butt before hanging up the cowl for good?

Alex’s Thoughts:  Let me first say that this is a great movie.  Now that’s out of the way, here were a very few things that bothered me – the dialogue was really hard to hear in some parts, and not just the words coming from under Bane’s mask, but from everyone.  If there was any sort of music playing or action in that scene, it was always louder than the dialogue so a lot was lost.  I did have minor issues with the Bat-plane, as I thought it was sort of cheesy, but I understand that it was crucial to the story.  And again, the music: it was too loud where it didn’t need to be and it distracted from what was happening on-screen, but maybe that was just me listening to the same theme for like 9 straight hours.  Those few flaws aside, it was a very entertaining movie.  I got to see some things between Bane and Batman that I didn’t think would happen, and I really enjoyed all the scenes with Bats and Catwoman fighting together.  The acting from Anne Hathaway and Michael Caine stood out the most, and it is unfortunate that so much of Bane’s face is covered by the mask, because Tom Hardy is a great actor and he can’t really express himself, but still did provide a great performance. Probably the part that most people will disagree on is the ending.  It is going to be a love it or hate it type deal.  It is very specific and sets the stage for the next movie, and if the next director decides to follow that story line, there is only one thing that can happen.  I myself really liked it. (MINOR SPOILER)  You lean something trivial about John Blake that changes the entire movie and history of this franchise, the audience in our theater let out a collective gasp.  I don’t love this as much as The Dark Knight, but it is still a great flick.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Nolan did the impossible, and that was not out doing The Dark Knight, (that would be impossible,) no, what he managed to do was maintain a consistent story line. Having the benefit of seeing all 3 movies in the same night in the theater, I could  see how Nolan sets up the universe very deliberately, and this pays off big time. There are no cheesy call backs to lame minor characters from earlier films, (which I was dreading,} and they avoid falling back into easy tropes. The movie felt like it had a slow start, but do not be deceived, it only feels that way because you know the shit is going to hit the fan, you just don’t know when. It’s also a good sign when the more I think about this movie, the more I like it. The guy one seat down in the theater was literally on the edge of his seat for the last hour of the movie, and you get the feeling that Nolan  is not only capable, but more than willing to kill off any of the main players and things get worse and worse. I know there is some dispute over the ending, but honestly I don’t know how else you do it. The wrap up is concise, and satisfying, and I don’t know what else you want. For me, this was excellent, and a wonderful finale for the best, most consistent movie trilogy. Before you jump down my throat, remember, there are no Ewoks in this, and Temple of Doom in it’s best parts can’t touch these Batman films. I am sad that they are done, and REALLY hope Superman can find the same success. Tim Rates This Movie: 10/10

“When Gotham is ashes, you have my permission to die.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

Batman: Year One (2011)

This animated feature, based on the Frank Miller graphic novel, finds two men entering the city of Gotham: millionaire Bruce Wayne (absent from Gotham for the last 12 years), and new cop Lt. James Gordon.  Both men find the city to be a den of evil, ruled by the corrupt, and each one vows to make it a better place the only way they can.  A disguised Wayne becomes a vigilante crime-fighter in the red light district beating up pimps and  drug dealers.  Gordon is trying to work through the corrupt police station, with a commissioner on the take and a partner who likes to abuse his power.  Eventually Wayne dons the moniker of Batman and aims to strike fear into the criminals of Gotham, he needs help in doing so, and eventually teams up with Gordon.  Catwoman makes a brief appearance as a hooker to trying to fight back and get these do-gooder to leave everyone alone. 

Alex’s Thoughts: While I love Batman, and like the graphic novel, I don’t care for the animation style.  The voice acting for Batman wasn’t all that good, but Bryan Cranston as Gordon is really good, Eliza Dushku as Catwoman doesn’t lend much to the character and is just kind of flat.  You need to be a hardcore fan to get much out of this, and it isn’t something you can watch with your kids as it’s pretty violent.  I’ve seen better animated Batman films like Gohamn Knights, and not many worse.  Alex Rates This Movie 4/10

Tim’s Thoughts: I was warned that the Gordon part of the story is much more compelling than the Batman story, and I 100% agree. If this was just about Gordon and his rise to Commissioner then I would be all in, but the Batman segments are much too melodramatic. The animation is a bit awkward, but I got used to it, but anytime Batman showed up I was pulled out again. Overall it’s pretty mediocre, and I think instead you should go out to you local comic book store and pick up the graphic novel.  Tim Rates This Movie 5/10

“You can never escape me. Nothing harms me. But I know pain.”

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Southland Tales (2006)

This is normally where we would tell you the plot of the movie. We tried to come up with something that made sence, but we couldn’t piece this things together into anything that was even remotely coherent.  There are probably 4 or 5 plot-lines going on in this movie which center around a movie star with amnesia, a new clean energy source, people using said energy source as a drug, a plot to overthrow the government, a flying ice cream truck and world war 3!  There is just way too much going on in this thing.  They try to recap it all in the opening montage, and that might have worked if it was like an hour, but at 5 minutes it just makes thing more confusing.  So we decided to list the many famous actors in this thing, of which many of their parts are a stretch from the previous roles.  So read on and try to keep up…

Dwayne “The Rock” JohnsonAn amnesic actor named Boxer who is married to the daughter of a politician. He believes himself to be the real life embodiment of “Jericho Cain”, the lead character in a screen play he wrote. He is the catalyst for everything going on in this movie  and seemingly as confused as we are.

Justin Timberlake – A wounded soldier with massive facial scars and a goatee that looks just as gross.  He narrates the movie via bible verses atop a building with a huge sniper rifle overlooking Venice Beach.  He also likes to inject the new fuel source fluid karma and get high and break out into musical numbers.

Eli Roth – Just some random dude who is killed on a toilet.

Sarah Michelle Gellar – A pornstar named Krysta Now who aspires to have her own clothing, perfume, energy drink and handbag lines. She is the girlfriend of Boxer, and advocate for Teen Horniness and had starred in such adult movies as Cock Chuggers 2: Cock Chuggin’.

Cheri Oteri – A tattooed dreadlocked Neo-Marxist with plans to overthrow the government.

John Laraquette – The campaign manager for the hopeful vice president, and an all around d-bag.

Jon Lovitz– A spray-tanned cop with amazing hair, and a penchant for violence and rough sex.

Mandy Moore – The Senator’s daughter and Boxer’s wife who has recently been impregnated by her father’s aide.

Sean William Scott – Playing the dual role of twins, al la Jean Claude van Damme, one of which is a cop and the other is just a loser. Or are they the same person?

Amy Poehler – A famous performance artist who plans on framing Boxer for murder.

Will Sasso – A pimp, a card shark and gun-selling drug dealer with awesome Hawaiian shirts.

Wallace Shawn– The cross-dressing inventor of the energy source fluid karma… inconceivable!

Kevin Smith – The leader of the neo-Marxist movement, who looks exactly like Karl Marx.

Alex’s Thoughts: This plot is just a mess, which you can probably decipher from the characters above.  This movie is part of a larger story that includes three graphic novels and an interactive website.  Maybe with all that material I could figure out what the hell is going on, but with just the movie on its own, you really don’t have a chance.  The acting is fine, and seeing people in atypical roles is fun, but you can’t really enjoy that since you are spending all your time trying to figure out what is happening.  If you are a fan of good acting you might appreciate this, assuming you are also a fan of over production and an excess of political ideals.  Alex Rates This Movie 4/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Yeah, I don’t know what to say, this movie in more capable hands, and with a bit more restraint could probably be really good. Sadly that is not the case, the acting is fine, but the story while ambitious doesn’t work. It’s muddled with social commentary that is so extreme it’s almost parody. Strange as it may sound, Southland Tales may have been better with a lower budget, I think it would have forced the director to be a little more confined, and make him work a little more creatively. Instead we have an inflated overblown story, that is obviously out of control, and is almost too self indulgent to enjoy. I think this is a well shot movie, and I do respect it’s ambition, but it doesn’t work. There are scenes that I think are excellent, but as a whole, this is not very good, and at 3 hours plus it’s a chore to watch. Tim Rates This Movie 3/10

“This is the way the world ends. Not with a whimper, but with a bang”

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