Blubberella (2011)

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Half-vampire half-morbidly obese human Blubberella spends her days killing Nazis, and her night stuffing her hungry mouth… alright, she does that most of the day too.  She joins a group of WWII resistance fighters after accidentally turning a German general into a vampire.  The general is working with a mad scientist who hopes to use his blood to make Hitler immortal.  The next hour and a half is filled with the following offensive material: fat jokes, gay jokes, racist jokes made by people in blackface, sloppy acting/editing/dialogue/directing & Clint Howard.

There aren’t yet words in the English language to describe the ‘movie’ that is Blubberella. It’s something that someone will have to see for themselves, although we advise you to remove any sharp object for your immediate seating area, and have a receptacle nearby for the imminent discharge the will soon be evacuating your pie hole. Enjoy.

Alex’s Thoughts: I blame Tim for making me watch this, since he sent me a text that said this was funny and we needed to review it.  So not only is my life ruined by this thing, but I am now no longer friends with my blog partner.  I will admit that there were some random scenes, such as a person in a fish costume for no apparent reason, and off screen dialog that made me chuckle, but those were only in there to be stupid.  At least Uwe Boll has admitted that his movies are shit, and shouldn’t be taken seriously, by making one of those movies on purpose this time. I you like 300 lb vampire slayers and Clint Howard, this is right up your alley… you sad pathetic waste of skin you.  Alex Rates This Movie: 1/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Okay, in my defense, I watched the first 10 minutes and didn’t think it was too bad, then I turned it off to watch a different show on Netflix. Turns out after watching the rest of this, I owe Alex a new pair of eyeballs, and a complete memory wipe. This is bad, and not even fun bad, there are a few good jokes sprinkled throughout, but the lame attempts to offend fall flat. I don’t know how Mel Brooks can make one of the most offensive/funniest movies ever, but Boll cannot even come close. Stupid and a waste of time, but what else did you expect?  Tim Rates This Movie: 1/10

Blubberella

View the IMDB entry for this movie, or add it to your Netflix queue if you hate yourself.

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