Taxidermia (2006)

Morosgoványi is a private serving at a rural Hungarian house, occupied by an officer and his family, in WWII. He lives in a shack with the pigs and spends most of his free time having dirty thoughts about the luitenant’s girls, playing with himself or shooting flames out of the end of his dong. That’s right. That’s the only reason we wanted to see this, and it is glorious!  The Lt. catches him having sex with a dead pig, and decides that enough is enough, and shoots him in the head.  The Lt. then goes inside to welcome the birth of his new baby boy, and man is that a fat baby.

FAST FORWARD 30 YEARS>>

That fat baby grew up to be an even fatter man: a professional competitive eater named Kálmán.  While at a national event, he notices the female Hungarian eating champ giving him the sexy eye.  After all the contestants purge their meals in a very graphic display that will make you want to do the same, Kálmán tries to show off for Gizi by winning the next round. Unfortunately he gets lockjaw and passes out.  Gizi visits him in the hospital and they hit it off, and end up getting married.  They frolic together, picnic and share HUGE meals together.  They also apparently put their fat naughty bits together too, because she is pregnant.  They are so happy that they are going to have a fat son who will become the next competitive eating champion!

FAST FORWARD 30 YEARS>>

DISSAPPOINTMENT! Their kid, Lajoska is a scrawny thing and owns his own taxidermy business. He spends his days working and getting food for Kálmán, who now makes Jabba the Hutt look like a Victoria’s Secret model.  He and his dad fight about the son being a disappointment and Lajoska leaves and comes back days later to see that his dad has been eaten alive by his own cats.  He honors his father by stuffing him.  He is now able to complete his life’s work: taxidermy himself!  He has constructed this Saw-like rig that will help him remove all of his organs and inject him with preseritives.  Once all that is done and he has stitched himself up, he pulls a level that severs both his arm and his head, turning himself into a work of art. Fin.

Alex’s Thoughts: Um… wow. That was… that was something alright. Don’t ever let it be said that Hungarians aren’t an interesting folk. I don’t know where to start, so I will jump to the end. I really don’t have a clue what this thing is about, maybe I missed the deeper meaning, it is way artsy after all.  Maybe if I was from Hungary I would be like “that is totally how our people rose up and gained our independence from those tyrannical overlords.” But dumb American me is like: this guy pees fire, this other guy is really fat with a really fat wife and this skinny guy taxidermied himself… okay.  It is just strange, and if you like that thing this might be for you. It looks pretty good, but I was lost throughout most of it. Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim’s Thoughts:I must be losing my touch, I have no idea what the point of this movie is. It’s gross to be gross and weird to be weird, other than to have a story of survival to tell your friends there is absolutely no point in seeing this. I was confused and kind of bored through the entire movie. I guess I was spoiled by actually enjoying the last few we reviewed. Skip this, and don’t look back. Tim Rates This Movie 2/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

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