Iron Sky (2012)

It’s 2018, and the president of the United States, who was obviously based on Sarah Palin, is desperate to boost her approval rating, so se sends a guy to the moon for the first time in 50-years. But this isn’t just any guy, it’s a black guy – a jive-talking soul brother model to be precise.  Once on the moon he does some walking around the dark side and sees something a bit strange: a huge Nazi fortress. Before he can run, a group of soldiers capture him and blow up his ship.  We learn through a teacher there, named Renate, that they have been there since 1945, just breeding new Nazis and building war machines, waiting for the right time to attack Earth and continue Hitler’s plan of world domination.

I know what you’re thinking: this sounds like the best movie ever. Hold your horses, because it gets dumb real quick.  Seeing as how they can’t have a black guy running around, the Nazis inject the astronaut, named Washington, with something that turns him into a perfect Aryan specimen: blond hair and blue eyes.  It is still very obvious that it is still a black guy though (think White Chicks). He is forced to take the teacher and her boyfriend Adler, the next in line to be Führer, to Earth to meet with the president to discuss surrender as well as getting cell phones to power their super-weapon on the moon.  The president decides that a war with the Nazis will only help her popularity, so she tells them to bring it on.

The Nazi fleet emerges from the dark side of the moon with zepplin shaped ships towing meteors and holding hundreds of flying saucers, and soon start attacking NYC.  We have a secret spaceship of our own and begin attacking them in orbit. As we start to get our butts kicked, several dozen other countries launch their spaceships as well, as we begin to destroy their fleet.  We work our way to the moon and nuke their fortress, but soon a huge ship breaks from under the surface and starts kicking all types of ass.  Before it can destroy Earth, our guy Washington destroys the iPad that was powering it as it crashes down.  All is well right? Well, all of the remaining counties with ships near the moon spot containers holding an element called Helium-3 which the Nazis were using to power their ships. All hell breaks loose when the US president lays claim to these tanks, and the other counties begin to fire on each others ships for the right to get at the stuff. When there are no ships left, nukes can be seen exploding on the surface of the Earth as the credits roll. Those Nazi bastards still win in the end!

Alex’s Thoughts: I want so much to love this movie, and the first 20 minutes and the last 20 minutes are great, but… the middle is just really bad and brings the whole thing screeching to a halt.  The concept is really fun, and the set and effects are very well designed and makes you feel like you are seeing secret space technology from the 1940’s. But the placement of the black astronaut and the Sarah Palin president ruin the whole thing for me.  If it was just the introduction to the Nazis and a huge war broke out, I would have been fine with that, but it has characters in it that you can’t help but hate and it derails a promising movie.  If you like sci-fi movies from the 60’s and 70’s this will be right up your alley.  Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This movie has so much potential. You could do a serious Red Dawn action style flick, or a hilarious blaxploitation movie with Nazis. Instead we get lame social commentary that is 4 years too late. Did I mention how disappointing this is? It has really solid effects, but the characters/story undermine this movie, and I am checking my watch 20 minutes in. Check it out if you don’t believe me, but you will be wasting your time, there are way funnier movies out there. See Black Dynamite instead, it’s way better and you will have a much better time. Tim Rates This Movie 3/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

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