Vampires (2010)

After two failed attempts to document the daily lives of vampires in Belgium (both film crews were murdered almost instantly), a new group of filmmakers has been allowed unprecedented access to a vampire’s lifestyle.  We meet a small family of four: father George, mother Bertha, son Sampson and wanna-be-human and pink-clad daughter Grace.  The crew sees how day-to-day life functions for the undead. They have a human slave whom they refer to as The Meat who cares for them during the day, and who they feed off of on occasion.  The government often sends them the dregs of society or illegal immigrants to ‘dispose of’ and they come collect the bodies once a week.  Things are working out well: the blood is flowing, the kids are in vampire school to learn the ropes and the film crew hasn’t been eaten yet.

The family does live on the edge of the vampire code though, and their neighbors that live in the basement will often remind them of that.  They are a young vampire couple who want a house all to themselves, but they are not allowed since they can’t sire a child. You see, the woman loves to eat babies, and the guy wants to have sex with them as soon as they can walk.  Freaks (even for vampires)!  there are few rules in vampire society, but our family is willing to break a few, such as letting Grace’s human boyfriend eat at their table. But Samson breaks the one major rule: don’t plow the head vampire’s wife.  The family must face being exiled to Canada, or Samson will be executed. They find life much harder in Montreal, where they are forced to work and not eat people. Things are so miserable that Grace even turns human again. But things begin to look up when they are allowed to come back home.

Alex’s Thoughts: I was pretty entertained by this movie, although there are some slow parts. Seeing how a vampire family would fit into everyday life was actually interesting.  I was a little disappointed in the ending, only because at the beginning they dedicated the movie to the missing film crew. So you were waiting for the vampires to turn on them, and that wait never paid off. If you are into vampire flicks you might want to take a look at this. Alex Rates This Movie: 7/10

Tim’s Thoughts:This starts off with a bang, and it’s  a slow decline from there. It’s interesting to see the vampire society’s rules,  and this is really a fresh look at a way overdone movie monster. There are some truly funny bits, and the first few attempts to get the movie made are the best. Sadly this goes on for just a bit too long. The decadence gets old, the family becomes unlikable and snooty, and I stopped caring what was going to happen with them. Once they are exiled I thought the movie would end, and I was pretty happy with that. Instead I get another 20 minutes, of  a family full of shmucks being miserable. Well except for Samson, who is happy being a “busker”, that bit is pretty funny, but it’s not enough to make the prologue worth it. Still not a bad movie, and I think it should be seen just for it’s unique ideas. Tim Rates This Movie 7/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue