Halloween (2007)

It’s the 70’s, and a 10-year-old boy named Michael Myers is living a rough life in Haddonfield, IL. Although he is dearly loved by his stripper mother, her asshole boyfriend and his own sister could give two shits about him. On Halloween, he gets into a tuff with some bullies at school who threaten to show everyone naked pictures of his mom, and a fight ensues. While sitting in the principal’s office, his mother is informed that her son might be a little troubled after they found a dead cat in his backpack. The principal calls on a psychiatrist, Samuel Loomis, to talk to Michael’s mother and tell her that her son probably needs some help, as Michael slips out of the office. He meets up with one of the bullies and severely beats him with a tree branch, before returning home.

On Halloween night after his sister refused to take him trick or treating, instead opting to have pre-marital sex with her boyfriend, Michael returns home after going out alone. First he has some circus peanuts and candy corn, then he binds his mom’s sleeping boyfriend to a chair with tape and slits his throat, stabs his sister 17 times and beats her boyfriend to death with a bat. Michael is sent to an institution and remembers nothing of the attacks. After being there for a few weeks he has completely shut down, stopped talking and hiding behind home-made masks. After his mother sees him murder a nurse while visiting, she goes home and kills herself our of guilt for birthing such a nut-job.

Fifteen years later, little Mikey is now a 6-and-a-half foot tall juggernaut. Some dumb orderlies try to mess with him, and he escapes the hospital, but not before killing everyone inside. Now he is on the loose and it’s Halloween, and he is looking for his lost little sister who was adopted. You know what’s coming next, as he will kill anyone who gets in the way of his family reunion.

Alex’s Thoughts: First off, I don’t know why you would want to remake what many people consider to be the best slasher film of all time. Oh wait, yes I do: money! I guess remaking it was a better alternative than a 7th or 8th sequel, and Jamie Lee Curtis was probably busy selling yogurt anyway. Rob Zombie puts his own spin on the classic with a deeper back story on Michael, which helps the mythos, but takes a long time to get to present day. The camera work in the beginning is sort of odd, with most of the scenes looking like someone is watching it through a bush or something, which is fine when it is Michael’s point-of-view, but when it isn’t, it is very distracting. It’s the same story as before, maybe a little fleshed out, but the same none the less. If you like the franchise, you might want to give it a watch, but I only watched it to see how it compared and was correct in the thinking it wouldn’t be nearly as good, but it’s still a decent horror flick. Alex rates This Movie 7/10

Tim’s Thoughts: John Carpenter redefined the horror genre with Halloween, and the problem with remaking it, is how do you improve on it? It’s nearly a perfect horror movie, with some of the best suspense, and fake-out scares around. With Zombie’s lack of a deft touch, we are brutalized with ultraviolence,  that just doesn’t pack the punch of a movie 30 years it’s elder. The waste of time setting up a back story means what? They want us to pull for Micheal Meyers? Why? What’s so scary  in the original movie is you can’t possibly grasp what drives this maniac to kill, instead we get Rob Zombie’s Halloween fan fiction, that is not only unsatisfying, but boring at times. It’s frustrating to see such a waste of talent, as I think that Zombie has vision, and is more than willing to push boundaries,  I can appreciate some of the things he is trying to do. This comes off more as a vanity project, and an indulgence that is nothing more. Skip this and see the original, unless you don’t like suspense in your horror. Tim Rates This Movie: 4/10

“The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the hell of the abyss, but those which choose to move silently among us.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue