Piranha (2010)

As spring breakers invade Lake Victoria, AZ, Jake is stuck at home babysitting all week and missing out on all of the fun. As he goes to pick up his little sister from music class he runs into his high school crush AND her dipshit boyfriend. While the girl is nice and talks to him, the other bros with her remind him that he’s a spaz.  Jake meets a hot little thing (Kelly Brook) who introduces him to her Girls Gone Wild-like director (Jerry O’Connell) who hires Jake to take him around the lake while he makes some porn.  Meanwhile, a small earthquake opens up a fissure in the lake where, you guessed it, thousands of pre-historic piranha have been living for a million years, and they are hungry!

You can pretty much guess what happens next as there are thousands of tender college kids in the lake. It is your typical bloodbath.  With Jake stuck out in the middle of the lake, it is up to his mom the sheriff (Elizabeth Shue) and probably too cool to be a seismologist Adam Scott to save Jake and his siblings before they are eaten by a pack of dinosaur fish.  While not heavy on a plot, cameos by fish store owner Christopher Lloyd, wet t-shirt contest host Eli Roth and Richard Dreyfuss playing Mr. Hooper from Jaws help to keep the thing going until a revealing climax.

Alex’s Thoughts: Have you seen the director’s-cut of Jaws 2 where Mrs. Brody has her boobs out the entire time? Well, than you’ve seen this movie.  There is nothing original and the CG is awful. But for some reason I really like this thing.  It has all of the fun of a campy 80’s movie without all of the feathered hair and the Scorpions soundtrack.  It’s a throw-away popcorn movie, but that’s alright once in a while.  I don’t think the producers thought they were making anything other than that.   It is definitely  a guys movie, with lots of nudity and really well done practical gore effects.  Despite all of the ladies in this thing, I still find myself drawn to Elizabeth Shue.  I guess that old Adventures in Babysitting crush dies hard.  If you take it for what it is, and just have fun with it, I think most guys would enjoy this flick. Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Wow does Elizabeth Shue look good, and you know what also looks good? NOT the effects in this movie, but for some reason that doesn’t matter. This is the rare campy horror movie that knows what it wants to do, knows exactly what it is, and succeeds 100%. It’s not too long, it’s not too heavy on plot, and while it lingers a bit on some terribly done CGI, the practical effects are surpisingly good. The cameos are great, and the pacing is swift. Not something I would sit and watch with the family, but watching it with friends would be a blast. If I am not watching a well made, thought provoking, suspense filled horror flick, then this is what I want. I was laughing out loud, and groaning at the cheesy bits, and I don’t know what else you would want, or expect from a movie that is exactly what it advertises itself as. Tim Rates This Movie 9/10

“Nice boobs… I have a training bra but I don’t like to wear it ’cause it itches…My brother Jake, he’s seventeen. He’ll like your boobs too.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to you Netflix queue.