The Clinic (2010)

After spending the day driving half way across Australia, a young couple find themselves looking for a room for the evening. The motel is in the middle of nowhere with almost no other guests to be found. The guy approaches the clerk, who looks like a transvestite version of Nick Nolte, and inquires about a room. Right about now is the time when bad choices start to be made, as the clerk charges them extra for their unborn baby, and leers at the guy’s girlfriend. ‘Leers’ is putting it nicely. When some scuzzball says “look at the tits on that one” about someone he knows you’re with that is 5 feet away from you, that might be a good time to head on down the road and find someplace else to sleep. For the good of this movie, that doesn’t happen. The guy gets up in the middle of the night to find some food in town, and returns to an empty room: his girlfriend has gone missing. The cops are no help; in fact, the cop knocks the man unconscious, and his role in the movie is pretty much done.

The lady wakes up in an urban legend cliché, a bathtub full of ice, but instead of her kidney being stolen, someone has stolen her baby. She wonders outside to find herself in a large industrial farm complex, and runs like the wind. She soon reaches a large gate, and collapses. She awakes to find that she isn’t the only one who has had her baby snatched. There at least 5 other women, 3 of whom saved her and are searching for their respective brats. They start searching and find another woman near death, her incision has been cut open, and she soon dies, but tells them that her baby was blue… whatever that means. One of the other girls winds up dead a few minutes later, but the rest of the women scare off her attacker. They find a green tag in her stomach, and soon put two and two together when they find the all the babies in locked cages. Each kid had a color coded tag on their foot, and whoever is killing these ladies is trying to find out which kid is hers by process of elimination. So in addition to the fact that their kids have been stolen from their womb, now some crazy bitch is trying to kill them. Probably not the best Christmas day they’ve ever had.

It turns out that this is a contest of sorts, with the child of the last surviving mother being sold to a family that is unable to adopt. Our main chick wins, of course, and is able to escape with her life and her newborn baby (who looks to be at least 6 months old). We won’t spoil anything for you, but the adoption agent from Hell gets hers.

Alex’s Thoughts: While slow in some spots, it wasn’t as boring as I thought it would be. Is that a compliment? I guess so. Look, Clinic isn’t anything to write home about, but it has its moments. It has what is a pretty common premise, and puts a spin on it which results in a good second half and a nice twist ending. It’s fine, not real good or real bad, just meh. Also I found it difficult to believe that women who just had a c-section can do all the running and whatnot these ladies do, but I’m no doctor, I just play one online. Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This is a waste of time, it’s like when you play that party game where one person starts a story, then the person next to you continues it, until eventually everyone is trying to top each other with silly twist endings. Interesting in the beginning, it quickly loses steam when it becomes a sub par slasher. It’s tedious nature is only made worse by ridiculous twist endings crammed in at the end. I was bored, then aggravated, then bored and aggravated, I’m glad it’s done with. Tim Rates This Movie: 1/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue