Bad Ass (2012)

Frank Vega (Danny Trejo) has had sort of a shitty life: after spending seven years deep in the shit in Vietnam, he returns to find that his girlfriend already has a new family of her own, and that an injury he received in the war prevents him from becoming a cop. Frank has spent the last forty years manning a hot dog cart, and really has nothing to show for it.  One day, while on a bus, he sees some skinhead punks messing with an old man.  After trying peacefully to get them to stop, he has to resort to kicking their asses.  This whole thing is caught on video, and before you know it, Frank is a YouTube sensation!  Now everyone knows his name and he’s a local hero and celebrity whom everyone calls ‘Bad Ass’.

After his mother passes, Frank and an old Army buddy movie into his mom’s place, which isn’t in the best neighborhood.  This friend gives Frank a flash drive to hold on to for safe keeping, and it’s a good thing, because the guy is killed for it 5 minutes later by some thugs.  Upset at the speed the police department is working, Frank checks out the crime scene himself; he finds a bullet casing and a necklace with a locket that the police somehow missed in the 4 square foot crime scene. He goes to a pawn shop to get the bullet identified, and the clerk just happens to know the girl in the locket. That girl happens to know where the guy whose locket it is plays b-ball, and the guys there happen to know someone who knows something else.  This goes on and on for a while in a very linier path until he meets up with one of the shooters. After forcing his hand into a garbage disposal, the guy spills the beans.

It seems the mayor (Ron Perlman) is working with a crime boss to make a neighborhood so violent that everyone moves out, so then they can move in and buy the land which has oil on it.  Bad Ass tracks down the crime boss who goes by the name of Panther.  This whole movie Frank kicks every guy’s ass he comes across, but this old fat man gets the better of him.  Frank escapes and a low-speed bus chase ensues with the pair eventually fighting in Frank’s front yard.  He beats this guy down and saves the hood from the evil mayor and even lands the hot black chick that lives next door. Right on, Frank!

Alex’s Thoughts: This movie should have been much more fun, but it was just boring.  The linier storyline was way too predictable, and there were no surprises.  It was sort of like Rumble in the Bronx meets Hobo with a Shotgun, but with very little going for it.  Again it seems like Trejo and Perlman will say yes to anyone who hands them a script and a check, and that is just sort of sad in a way.  I think Trejo has some clause in his contract that says he needs to see boobs on set at least once, because there is always a scene with him alone in a room with a topless chick.  Good for you, you old ass butt kicking hombre.  Alex Rates This Movie 4/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This should be called, “I’d rather be watching Machete”, because that’s all I was thinking the entire time I had this on. It’s loosely based on a true story and it is equally loose with plausibility. It’s too convenient, and full of tropes, barely anything original or interesting throughout the entire movie. It’s also hard to take Danny Trejo serious as he is wearing a fanny pack the entire time. Meh, kind of  a waste of time. Tim Rates This Movie 3/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue