Four Rooms (1995)

Ted the Bellhop (Tim Roth) is the only staff member on-duty at a large LA hotel on New Year’s Eve.  The owners of the hotel are trying to resurrect it to its glory days, and want Ted to take extra-special care of the guests. Here are the events that cronicle his not-so-typical evening:

Room #1 – A coven of witches hope to resurrect their dead goddess, but they are missing a key ingredient – Sperm!  That’s right, they need some splooge, man juice, jizz, population paste, baby batter; and the witch who was supposed to bring it accidentally swallowed it.  How it got in her mouth we have no idea!  She aims to get what she needs from Teddy boy, and will take it by force if need be.

Room #2 – Ted gets a call from a guest who wants ice, but gives him the wrong room number.  He walks in to see a woman tied to a chair and man sticking a gun in his face.  Accusations start flying about Ted sleeping with a certain somebody’s wife.  Despite not even knowing the bellhop, she doesn’t make his situation any better by egging her husband on. Thankfully a case of cardiac arrest allows Ted to escape.

Room #3 – A rich Mexican businessman gives Ted some extra scratch to watch his two brats so he can go out with his wife for a night on the town.  Things go well for a bit until the kids get bored and find a few things the maid forgot to clean up, such as some dirty used needles and a dead hooker in the bed springs.  Add in a small fire, and it doesn’t create a nice picture when the parents come home.

Room #4 – A crazy movie star (Quentin Tarantino) and his entourage are laughing it up, and having a bet, and they need our main man Ted to be an impartial judge.  The winner gets a new car, the loser get their finger chopped off.  With Quentin going at his full speed, and Bruce Willis yelling on the phone the entire time, Ted is confused and doesn’t want to be a part of this, but some extra cash changes his mind. Things go about as well as you could guess in this one when someone loses a bet and part of their anatomy.

Alex’s Thoughts:  This movie made a big impression on me when I saw it in the theatre the first time.  It used to be one of my favorites, but sadly I don’t really enjoy it as much as I used to.  It is still a great film, but it suffers from the fact that it has four different directors, and thus doesn’t flow very well.  I know the point was to have different styles in each room, but there is nothing that brides the gap between them.  Other than that, I think it holds up well as far as the comedy goes: The Misbehavers’ room is slap-stick fun, while the Man From Reno room is just insane with Tarantino just being his batshit crazy self.  What really makes this movie is Tim Roth, who is on-screen 95% of the time, but only has a hand full of dialog.  His use of gestures is great and a throwback to the days before those newfangled ‘talkies’.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Without Tim Roth, this movie would be unwatchable. That being said, it’s not always great, but when it is, it’s a lot of fun. Early Robert Rodriguez and Tarantino really help out when the movie starts to drag, and while it’s still a bit raw, it’s fun to see their directing styles early in their evolution. I Could have done with just a collaboration between the two of them for the entire movie, but we don’t get that until From Dusk Till Dawn.  I don’t think Four Rooms has aged well, as it’s truly a product of the 90’s, but the cameos and bit parts by tons of people who are now famous help keep it interesting as you plod through the slow parts. Tim Rates This Movie: 6/10

“I don’t have a problem.  I have fucking problems. Plural.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

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