Antichrist (2009)

A man (Willem Dafoe) and his wife are getting on in a black-and-white slow-motion sex montage (and for those of you asking.. yes, they do show penetration, but this is an artsy flick so it isn’t porn), while at the same time their very young son has crawled out of his crib and has slowly made it up to a window ledge.  Things turn from sexy to pretty awful in an instant as the boy falls to his death. While they are both grieving, the mother takes it much harder. The Willem is a therapist and decides to take it upon himself to treat his wife’s depression. They head out to a cabin in the woods called “Eden” where something bad seems to have happened to her the previous year, though she can’t remember what.  She isn’t taking to the psychotherepy, and relies on sex to block away her grief, sometimes resorting on her violently ‘taking care’ of herself out in the woods when he isn’t in the mood.   While exploring the cabin, he finds some work of his wife’s from her stay there last year; it starts out as an intellectual thesis, but it dives into madness quickly, as it is obvious that something here is making her crazy.  There is even evidence that she abused her child while at the cabin the past year. 

She doesn’t take these accusations lightly, as Willem finds out after she crushes his ballsack with a block of wood.  She isn’t all bad though, as she gives him a nice hand jibber right afterwards; too bad he is passed out, or maybe not, as he is now ejaculating blood instead of the usual stuff.  She ends up bolting his leg to a grinding wheel so he can’t escape the cabin, but like some sort of freakish Gizmo Duck he half walks/ half rolls his way into the woods where he finds a nice hole in which to hide from his crazy ass wife.  She finds him, and buries him alive; but digs him up again for one last roll in the hay.  The wife seems to realize that her sexual urges are somewhat responsible for the awful things she is doing and proceeds to take a pair of shears to her neithers, in what might be one on the worst scenes ever put to film.  Willem wakes up from his near death experience and strangles the life out of dear wifey.  He finally gets the wheel off and hobbles away, only to see hundreds of women rushing towards him. 

Alex’s Thoughts: This movie is a piece of art, filled with such great symbolism… is probably what a pretentious movie critic would say about this.  As a normal movie fan and barely functioning blogger, I thought this was crap.  Freakish crap to be precise.  I guess I really didn’t understand it, so I can’t really say that you would feel the same way about it that I did.  Any meaning behind it was lost on me due to the frequent disturbing images.  It started of as one of the most beautifully shot movies I’d seen (despite the subject matter), and as the movie progressed and things got crazier the film quality got lower and lower until it was like watching something on a crappy cell phone.  I know it relates to the woman slowly losing her shit, but it was annoying.  While I enjoy full frontal nudity in movies as much as the next guy, it’s admittedly better when it doesn’t involve self-mutilation or Willem Dafoe’s HUGE unkempt man-bush.  If you enjoying looking for meaning in your movies, give this a go; then call me and tell me what the fuck it was about.  Alex Rates This Movie 1/10

“The thoughts distort reality, not the other way around.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

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