Howard the Duck (1986)

After a long day of work, Howard just wants to come home and relax.  He’s just your average everyday working stiff, except that he is a duck.  He lives on a distant planet that parallels Earth, and instead of primates evolving into the dominate species, ducks did.  As he cracks open a beer, he and his recliner are sucked out of his apartment and into space; eventually crashing into a seedy alley in Cleveland.  He ends up rescuing a girl from a couple thugs and she then invites him to stay at her place after hearing his sad story.  He just want to get back to Duckburg, so she takes his to see a scientist friend of hers who treats him like a freak, and he gets all shitty and leaves.   Howard heads out to live on his own, but it turns out that the mean streets of Cleveland are no place for a three-foot duck man.  He comes back to his lady friend and just as they are about to commence with the inter-species erotica, the scientist guy and his scientist friends walk in with a way to send Howard back to his planet.  A failed test occurs and ends up bringing another space creature to Earth which possesses the body of the scientist Jennings.  Jennings kidnaps the babe and aims to bring down more of these evil space creatures called the Dark Overlords of the Galaxy to destroy Earth.  Howard and the scientist friend must find a way to destroy the evil creature before the girl is killed and the planet decimated by vagina lobster monsters.  They save the day and end the movie with a hair band rock-out in true 80’s fashion while the theme song plays for a full eight minutes!

Alex’s Thoughts:  While still pretty bad, it wasn’t as bad as I remember it, so take that as you will.   How do you criticize a movie about a talking duck from outer space?  I guess you could start by saying that this is the spot where George Lucas officially lost his mojo.  The movie itself is probably entertaining for boys ages 8-11, but that is about it.  The acting is pretty bad, with a few brief exceptions from child-diddiling Jeffery Jones who gets to act crazy for half the movie, but even that starts to get old.  For the time, the effects were pretty good, but look quite awful now; and four million bucks for that duck suit!? Fuck me running! That is a lot of scratch for something that is far from perfect.  Oh and incase you were wondering, the naked female ducks do have boobs which include bright pink nipples. I’m not quite sure why birds need nipples, and any third-grader can tell you that is complete bullshit; but what do you expect from a completely insane movie.  Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim’s Thoughts:  This movie is great, not in itself necessarily, but it helped Lucas who was 50 million dollars in debt at the time sell off his CGI animation division, and it grew and flourished into Pixar! So everyone should be kissing Howard’s little feathered butt. If it weren’t for his wise-quaking, we would have no Toy Story, so this movie is okay by me, as long has I don’t have to watch it.  Maybe every once in a great while. Thanks Howard!! Tim Rates This Movie 6/10

Desperate ducks commit desperate acts!”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

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