Ghost Rider (2007) 

Barton Blaze and his son, Johnny make up the amazing carnival stunt show that is this movie, ….um wait I mean well you know what I mean. Johnny is often sidetracked from his awesome carnie career, as he has got the hots for a chick named Roxy, and they plan on running off together.  they are all se to split town, but when Johnny gets home he finds a letter from his Dad’s doctor informing him that he’s dying of cancer.  So young Blaze does what every young motorcycle punk would do, go out to the garage and work on his bike.  The next thing you know Mephistopheles/Mephisto/Ol’ Scratch shows up out of nowhere and offers Johnny a deal: he will cure Barton’s cancer, and all Johnny has to do is sign over his soul for a favor to be named later.  Simple right?  What could possibly go wrong?  We’re sure nothing bad would happen, like Daddy dying in a flaming motorcycle accident, oh wait, that’s exactly what happened.  Fast forward many years, and Johnny Blaze has ditched Foxy Roxy and is now a world-renowned stunt cyclist, did we mention he can’t die?  Nope, no matter how hard he tries he, and his wig, are impervious to death, or reality.  Elsewhere in movie B, the son of the devil, Blackheart hits a Hell’s Angels bar and kills everyone in it, not to worry, he was looking for a couple of demons whose powers seemed to be based in the elements.  He is looking for a contract containing the most evil souls in the world, well in the world of the old west, somewhere in the 1860’s or so.  Anyways we are sure you will all be surprised to learn that the devil is not to happy about this, so he pops in on old Johnny Blaze, and sets him on fire. Well sort of, he turns him into the Ghost Rider, the devil’s personal bounty hunter. Ghost Rider then goes on a tear through town wrecking all kinds of shit till he gets to where Blackheart and his elemental cronies are harassing a  junkyard lot attendant about the location of a cemetery that is said to contain this contract. Bummer for them not only has the cemetery been moved, but now Ghost Rider is here to raise some Hell (sorry I couldn’t resist.) They fight, and eventually get away, leaving our hero to ride home along a defeated, oh wait, what do we have here, a mugger, well, well, well,I guess ol’ Ghosty  get’s to kick someone’s ass after all. So he gives the poor bastard the penitent stare, making him feel the suffering of all his victims.

Men on Film would like to interject at this point to apologize, if this review seems long, that’s because this movie is over 2 hours long, and that’s about one hour and forty-five minutes too much. To be honest lets just all admit that there’s only about fifteen minutes of usable footage. So let’s just skip ahead, because if you rented this you would do the same.

So then Johnny Blaze turns down the Devil’s offer to no longer be Ghost Rider and vows to spend his days undoing the Devil’s hard work.

Alex’s Thoughts:  You know how most comic book movies are hit or miss?  This was one of those misses. Big fucking time!  Ghost Rider is a bottom tier superhero to start with, and not really all that popular, so to think he could carry a movie on his own is wishful thinking.  If Marvel was desperate to tell the story of Ghost Rider, they would have been better off to do it in an animated one hour straight to DVD version.  This movie is way too long; and not just long, but really bad to boot.  Nic Cage did the best with what he had, but what he had was an awful plot and some pretty poor CGI.  As a villain in the comics Blackhart looks like an evil sea urchin, in this movie he looks like a Hot Topic’s runway model, the other villains were worse yet.  There is just so much wrong with this movie from the frequent contradictions in the plot, to Johnny Blaze sounding like a complete dufus when he is Ghost Rider.  The first time he turns, he all of a sudden knows all the tricks; this movie lacks the training montage that makes most super hero movies fun and relatable.  Then.. wait. I’m done with this, I could go on forever on this one.  Marvel fucked up with this one.  It’s ok, it happens.  But why the fuck are they making a sequel!?  Alex Rates This Movie 3/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Well what can I say that hasn’t already been said? Not much, this movie isn’t great, Nick Cage wasn’t the best choice, and while not nearly as bad as either Fantastic Four movie, it’s still bad. Drive Angry is better and a lot more fun. I hate to admit this, but with the Crank 2 guys behind the sequel to Ghost Rider, I think I will have to give it another shot….Sorry. Tim Rates This Movie 4/10

Any man that’s got the guts to sell his soul for love has got the power to change the world.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

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