Laid to Rest (2009)

A young woman wakes up in a casket inside a funeral home with no memory of who she is and with the cognitive powers of a 7-year-old.  She escapes to find the doors locked, and when the old mortition arrives to set her free, he is killed by our main baddy Chromeskull.  She escapes and is picked up by a friendly motorist named Tucker, who takes her back to his place.  Tucker’s wife is none too happy that he his brought a delusional girl with huge fake breasts back to their house, but she feels sorry for her after realizing someone is trying to kill her and she lost her memory.  As luck would have it, Chromeskull video tapes all of his murders, so he gets a good shot of the truck that picks up the girl and ends up at Tucker’s house where he stabs his wife in the head.  The girl and Tucker escape to the first house they can find, that of a nerd who agrees to help them get to the police station.  When they arrive, they find that all of the cops are dead, of course.  More worn-out horror movie standards follow as they end up at Chromeskulls place which is filled with caskets and a bunch of dead and dismembered 20-something females.  Chromeskull gets shot a few times and they escape to a mini-mart, where we realize the villain isn’t dead (big shock) and he goes on to kill a few kids who were get trying to get some Slush Puppies and Bubble Tape.  The nerd steals the killers murder kit and replaces the medical adhesive Chromeskull uses to keep his chrome skull mask in place with a super-duper industrial grade glue.  After killing everyone else in the place, he has the girl trapped.  She kicks off his mask, and as he goes to glue it back on he shows her the video tape of who she really is – a drug addicted prostitute.  As she isn’t too excited about this, she now welcomes death, but it’s too late; the crazy glue has melted his face off and he’s dead.

Alex’s Thoughts:  It seems to me that this is just another slasher movie that time will easily forget.  A lot of horror movie fans really like this for some reason, but I didn’t get it.  I’ve seen this same sort of movie 50 times, and it is all old hat by now.  I know people want to make the next iconic killer like Jason or Freddy, but Chromeskull isn’t it.  There wasn’t a back story or anything that provided motive of why he killed, and that is important to me; and if there was such information given, I was far too bored to be paying attention.  The acting, as you can imagine was pretty bad. The main girl was the director’s wife, so there you go.  The only bright spot I thought was in Tucker’s wife, who was the queen in 300 and Sarah Connor in the Terminator TV series; she was a good actress for all of the 7 minutes she was on-screen.  If you are a horror fan it might be worth a watch, but if you like your horror movies to have a plot you might want to pass.   Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Ugh, lay me to rest, this has few good kills, but is not worth the effort.  I don’t think I have ever seen a movie more phoned in by its cast, nobody seemed interested in being there, and after about 20 minutes I understood why. The main girl is so awful that even the better actors gave up. This rates up here with Hatchet, which I know needs a re-watch, but I still hate it.  Tim Rates This Movie 1/10

“Some man tried to make me dead at the place where the dead people are.”  (Classic!)

 

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

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