Mortal Kombat (1995) w/ Guest Reviewer David Alabaugh

This flick loosly follows the events of the first Mortal Kombat game: the wizard Shang Tsung is holding a tournament that pits the people of earth against his mystic warriors of Outworld.  Should the fighters from Outworld win the tourney, they will gain control of Earth and turn everyone into their slaves.  It is up to the long-haired fallen monk Lui Kang, the worst actress ever (and we guess some kind of cop) Sonya Blade and fallen movie star Johnny Cage to win to keep Earth safe; but their not alone; Christopher Lambert needed some cash so he shows up as a scenery-chewing (and white?) Raiden to help guide them on their way.  As they fight classic game characters like the ice chucking Sub-Zero, the skeletal Scorpion and giant shitty animatronics Goro, it falls on Liu Kang to win the whole enchilada while random soundtrack phrases are uttered and in-game references appear for no reason whatsoever. 

Alex’s Thoughts:  If you were a kid in the mid-90’s this movie was the shit.  I saw this in the theatre three times, as I was a huge fan of the game; I had never seen anything like that game before.  Watching it now I am embarrassed for 16 year-old Alex… poor ignorant bastard.  This movie doesn’t hold up well at all; it is packed chockfull of shit acting and even shittier martial arts.  Everyone working on this movie just seems like they would rather be somewhere else.   If you have never seen it before or are not a fan of the game, you will want to pass, it’s just a cash grab and a big-budget commercial for a video game.  The sequel is a bit better, but still not good.  Alex Rates This Movie 3/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. I wanted to like this so much, and as a kid I was crazy excited, but then  a very white Christopher Lambert shows up as an Asian god, and I checked out. This movie is such crap, nonstop crap, and I am filled with rage at the thought. I loved the first couple Mortal Kombat games, and this franchise seemed like it could translate to a couple of no-brainer action flicks, but instead thanks to horrible casting and unneeded tweaking this movie stinks.  I hated it as a kid, and I still do, nice soundtrack though.   Tim Rates This Movie 2/10

David’s Thoughts: Of all my favorite childhood movies, most of them are still great flicks, but when it comes to Mortal Kombat…I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I liked the action, even though by today’s standards, it’s extremely outdated when it comes to style and just simply put, “Awesomeness.” Instead the action scenes are like that of Walker Texas Ranger (without Chuck Norris), consisting of bland one-two punches followed by a roundhouse kick. If you’re looking for fantastic martial arts, MK’s not for you. I do however like the casting choices, for the most part. They all fit pretty well, and Johnny Cage’s one liners still cracked me up, even though it was for stupidity rather than cleverness. Goro looks ridiculous, and the computer animated reptile is pretty horrible, but that shouldn’t come as a huge shocker, considering this movie came out in the 90’s. I am a proud and true Mortal Kombat (the game series) fan, and bought this movie on Blu-Ray to receive bonus material for the newest (and best) MK game released. Was it worth it? No. This movie, even though the story and characters stay somewhat true to the game, lacked the one thing that put Mortal Kombat on the map. Blood, Guts, and over-the-top Gore. Missing out on the extremely violent fatalities is a huge slap in the face to fans, and makes the movie completely miss the point. That’s unforgivable. So, if you want a good MK story, play story mode on the new game, it’s infinity times better. FINISH HIM!!! David Rates This Movie 3/10. FATALITY!!!

“You’ll fight me. I am Liu Kang, descendent of Kung Lao. I challenge you to Mortal Kombat.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to you Netflix queue

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