Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008)

Rod has everything going for him, except that he’s in this movie. He is planning on exercising his stock option once the small company he works for gets bought out. Did we mention that he just ran into this girl that he went to high school with? Now she’s a model and is hot to trot for old Hot Rod, and together they shittily act their way through this piece of crap.  But there seems to be trouble in paradise as the local news lady reports that global warming is on the rise, and there is some stock footage of a brush fire that is ravaging southern California. Rod’s not worried because his company just sold and now he’s gonna be a millionaire and his office celebrates awkwardly for several minutes, did we mention that now his girl is a Victoria’s Secret model? Yep, life is pretty good, and what better way to celebrate than to go to a shitty motel for some celebratory love-making where he doesn’t remove a single item of clothing. They wake up and all is right with the world, except now eagles and vultures (we think) are hovering outside of the motel window with nothing better to do, than to murder our heroic couple. The birds get bored and fly away, so Rod and Natalie start knocking on other motel doors, lucky for them they find a couple armed with automatic weapons, and together they flee to a van, and begin their quest for the truth, what could possibly be causing all of this? After a series of bad encounters and even worse special effects they escape the raging wildfire, and head to the beach for some fun in the sun. While there they seemed surprised to be attacked by birds (again), but not nearly as surprised as we were to see sea gulls come to save the day. In an epic battle the seagulls repel the onslaught of eagles/vultures,  everything is right with the world (we assume that the seagulls also fixed global warming.)

Alex’s Thoughts:  I agree with Tim’s thought’s about the trailer, and I thought that someone made a shitty movie on purpose, and it is going to be funny.  Nope.  Someone just made a shitty movie.  It is a movie with nothing going for it: the camera operator cannot keep the actors in the shot half of the time, the sound is awful (unless you like the sound of a single screeching bird for 45 minutes straight), the editing is the worst I’ve seen, the actors should stick to being extras in a Great Clips commercial and the effects were less than special.  There is nothing to like about this movie unless you are a fan of awful CGI and even worse acting; the highlight of this turd is the 20 minutes of Rod driving alone in his car, because at least then you don’t have to hear the terrible line delivery, and the camera stays pretty much in one place. This thing is a complete mess, and I am dumber for having watched it.  Alex Rates This Movie 0/10

Tim’s Thoughts: I saw the preview for this and thought “this looks so bad that it’s probably hilarious.” I was wrong. As a 2 minute movie trailer, this is hilarious, the acting is awful and the effects are worse, but an hour and a half of this garbage is torture. Without any redeeming qualities this movie is the steaming pile that it promises to be and is nothing more. It lacks the charm of most “funny bad” movies, and while I would recommend the trailer, there’s no way anyone should see this movie, it’s not even fun. Tim Rates This Movie 0/10

“I hear a mountain lion! I gotta get back to my house and you better get to your car!”  (Yes, folks, all the dialog is that great!)

 

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

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