Kiltro

Release Date: 10/7/2006 (Chile) – Rated R

Plot Summary: So Kiltro is this pig-headed brute that is in love with Kim, whom he saved from being raped in an alley two years ago, but Kim is kind of a tramp and seems to like flirting with huge dudes just to get Kiltro to fight them. Her Dad is a Korean martial arts master who sees potential in the lunkhead but he needs more training. Kiltro is convinced he just needs some more Kim and blows him off. Meanwhile a mysterious arab shows up and starts killing everyone, for some unrevealed wrong done to him in the past. Kiltro’s mom tells him that he needs to become somebody for Kim to notice him, and even then, she’s not worth his time.  Kiltro is beat down by the Arab (who looks like a metrosexual Jaffar), but saved by a midget who finishes his training (much like Yoda).  Blah,blah. Training montage. Blah, blah and some more winding plot lines later, Kiltro finds himself and reaches his potential, but now it’s too late. That Crazy Arab has Kim, and really wants to kill her. More mayhem ensues, Kiltro dresses up like a WWF guy and wins the fight and Kim’s heart. Aw…..

Alex’s Thoughts:  Barf.  I thought this thing was pretty awful; I saw all of the bad things Tim noted below, but none of the good things.  None of the actors looked like they wanted to be there, and seemed to be in this movie only as part of some work release or forced community service program.  I didn’t think the fight scenes were very well done at all compared to most martial arts movies, they just lacked and sort of danger for the main character.  When one guy is fighting against 50+ opponents, I want something like the House of Blue Leaves scene from Kill Bill, not what I saw here.  Also, Kiltro’s mom look like she gave birth to him when she was about 2 years-old, as they appear to be virtually the same age.  There just wasn’t anything to keep me involved in this movie, and it will be easily forgotten.  My high hopes for Chilean cinema have been crushed!

Tim’s Thoughts: This may have the worst dubbing I have ever heard, and it definitely has the worst computer generated blood I have ever seen in a movie. All of that being said, it has some awesome martial arts scenes, mostly the ones with Kiltro, and some pretty funny parts too. There are some awful parts to this, but I don’t think it ever becomes unwatchable. Some of the sets looks like they borrowed them from the local high school. Fans of straight up martial arts movies, without a lot of wire work should enjoy this. The plot is a bit standard, but the hero is not, it’s fun to watch this lunkhead grow up and become a man.

Final Thoughts: We disagree as to the greatness that is Kiltro.  If you like martial arts movies maybe you will like the fight scenes, maybe not.  Just fast forward thru the main cheesy plot, as that is kind of garbage.

Alex Rates This Movie 3/10

Tim Rates This Movie 7/10

“Your bark is worst than your bite, Kiltro, you son of a bitch.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

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