Hell Comes to Frogtown (review recommended by reader Clint)

Release Date: 1/12/1988 – Rated R

Starring: ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper (They Live)

Plot Summary:It’s 10 years after World War III.  The Earth is a wasteland and the human population has been decimated.  Most people have been rendered sterile by the nuclear fall-out, but not our main man Sam Hell, who is so filled with population paste and butch, he wears a loin cloth OVER his jeans.  Sam has been recruited by the mostly female-led government to start banging fertile chicks and start re-populating America, so we can out-number the Russians and start another war.  Sam signs a contract that drafts him into the army, and is made to wear a bomb and shock equipped chastity belt; to keep him in line.  He is sent on a mission, along with a doctor and a female soldier that is more masculine than him, to rescue several fertile females from the clutches of the evil Commander Toadie; who is of course a giant mutated frog who leads a giant mutated frog army of varying crappy giant mutated frog costumes.  As Sam and his cohorts fight these evil frog bastards, lives will be lost, humanity’s very existence may well be decided, and you will learn that giant mutated frogs have three penises!

Alex’s Thoughts:  What can I really say about a movie like this.  If you got this far, you know what the movie is about and it is as crazy as it sounds.  Once the flick gets going (which is about 40 minutes in) it really isn’t that bad all things considered.  It is odd and strange, but sometimes that’s ok.  The acting is pretty bad, and at some points the animatronic frog heads show more emotion than the human actors.  And speaking of the frog heads… there was no consistency to the frog costumes at all, as if they couldn’t agree on a design and just said everyone make whatever you want.  The ones that actually look like frogs are pretty interesting, the rest are either just a crappy mask over an actor’s face or a guy wearing a bee keeper’s mask wearing goggles so can’t see that he actually isn’t wearing anything that resembles a frog at all.  In all cases, there was no attempt to change their feet from that of a normal human’s, and for that I say shame on you Hell Comes to Frogtown.

Tim’s Thoughts: I thought for sure a man named Sam Hell, who has survived scavenging the waste lands, and knocking up post-war babes would be a little more badass. Instead we have a bumbling idiot, who is not only terrible in a fight, and has a glass jaw, but may be the clumsiest anti-hero I have ever seen. The guy is a class A jackass, and it’s too bad, because this movie could be iconic with the cuckoo bird plot, and a chauvinism that would not pass today’s standards, and yeah the some of the frog costumes are terrible and some great.

Final Thoughts: This could have been the greatest movie ever, and Sam Hell a new Snake Plisken, but instead we have this lackluster waste of time. We rated it higher just on its potential, but the execution was lacking and instead we have this, a missed opportunity.

Alex Rates This Movie 5/10

Tim Rates This Movie 5/10

“Eat lead, froggies!”


View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue