Jason X (aka Friday The 13th Part 10)

Release Date: 4/26/2002 – Rated R

Starring: Kane Hodder (Hatchet)

Plot Summary:  For some reason this movie opens up in 2010 with our anti-hero Jason in a secret government lab being tested on while chained to a table.  And wouldn’t you know it, he breaks free and starts with the killin’.  The lone survivor manages to trap Jason in a cryogenic tube and freeze him, but not before he stabs her through the door and freezes her as well.  We cut to the current time, over 400 years later, with a group of students exploring the now un-inhabitable Earth, as they stumble across a room with two frozen bodies.  At the direction of their teacher, they bring them aboard their spaceship and proceed to use nanotechnology to bring the woman back to life, while Jason (seeming dead as always) thaws out on a lab table.  The woman awakens to be freaked out by the fact that although she is a million miles from Earth, Jason is still in the next room.  She goes on to tell the story of Jason Voorhees to an unimpressed group; except for the teacher guy.  He is sure he can sell of the body and make enough cabbage to where he doesn’t have to travel the galaxy with these snot-nosed kids anymore. 

As you would expect Jason wakes up and kills a few horny kids, as well as the entire military force on board the ship.  He takes out the pilot sending the ship plowing through a space station, and now with a limited amount of life support left, they send out a distress signal.  Jason is still hacking people up, when one of the guys gives his sex-robot an ass-kicking upgrade and she proceeds to shoot holes in Jason, and eventually blows his ugly head clean off.  They think the day is saved, but little do they know Jason has landed on the nano-robots and they put him back together post-haste; and since there was not enough tissue they decided to use metal.  So now there is a Robo-Jason running around killing.  As the surviving group waits for help to arrive, Jason in lured into a holo-deck type room where they run a Crystal Lake program to keep him busy killing topless girls for a few minutes.  They escape and Jason is blown up in the breached ship’s explosion and is, of course, hurled directly towards their rescue ship.  One of their group, who was outside during the explosion, tackles Jason as they both enter the atmosphere of a near-by planet.

Alex’s Thoughts:  This might be the worst of the Friday the 13th sequels. Yes, even worse than the one where Jason is a worm that possess people.  This looks like a movie that was made for the SciFi Channel and they had a few extra bucks left over in the budget, so they were able to by the rights to the Jason character.  You could put any serial killer in that role; because besides the 2 minutes in the virtual Camp Crystal Lake, there is nothing that makes this a Friday the 13th movie – it’s just a campy space movie.  If you’re a Jason fan, this would be one to skip.  If you’re not, this isn’t the one to bring you on board, for sure.

Tim’s Thoughts: Pass, pass, pass, this isn’t even fun. This movie is such a waste of time, and money, and the entire thing could serve as a movie clip on Failblog. I look for things in this type of horror movie, and this had none. Fun? nope, Creative kills? nope, witty banter? nope! This movie sucks, and while not all sequels are created equal, this one should have been jettisoned out of a airlock.

Final Thoughts:  Oh how times change.  Jason started out as a physically deformed retarded kid… now he is a robot in space.  They strayed way too far from Crystal Lake on this one, as if Manhattan wasn’t far enough. Personally we like it when his momma is running around doing all the heavy lifting.  This is just plain rubbish and shouldn’t even be considered canon for anyone who likes the franchise.

Alex Rates This Movie 3/10

Tim Rates This Movie 1/10

“Guys, it’s okay! He just wanted his machete back!”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue