Howling II …Your Sister Is A Werewolf (a.k.a. Howling II: Stirba – Werewolf Bitch)

Release Date: 8/11/1985 – Rated R

Starring: Christopher Lee (Gremlins 2: The New Batch)

Plot Summary:  While attending his sister’s funeral, Ben (who we will now refer to as Captain Denim due to his always present matching jeans and jean jacket) is approached by eerie looking Stephan, who tells him that his sister was a werwolf, and needs to be killed again before others of her kind come to claim her body.  With the help of his new girlfriend Jenny, Ben believes Stephan and agrees to go with him to Transylvania to kill the werewolf queen and put an end to all of this foolishness.  Once they arrive Stephan goes off to do his thing while Ben and Jenny check into a hotel: Ben’s denim jacket comes off, and you know what time it is: it’s business time.  The two engage in the least erotic sex scene ever put to film, and of course Ben doesn’t even bother to take off the jeans, although we suspect he had matching denim briefs on under there.  Meanwhile the old and withered werewolf queen – Stirba, is undergoing a ritual that changes her from the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons to an older uglier version of Elizabeth Berkley.  Stephan readies the town’s resident werewolf hunters as Stirba has her werewolves engage in a leather clad orgy to get them riled up and ready to fight.  Stephan, Ben and the other hunters trapes through the woods to Stirba’s castle in hopes of killing her and freeing the captured Jenny, all the while being attached along the way. Ben saves Jenny and Stephan and Stirba engage is the lest exciting end battle ever.  Oh and there is a possessed midget and boobs, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Alex’s Thoughts:  Words cannot explain how bad this movie is, you truly need to see for yourself.  With a running time of 90 minutes, it seems like there was only about 70 minutes of original footage and the rest was just showing scenes from earlier in the movie, albeit awful scenes that did not pertain to what was currently happening.   With a soundtrack that consists of a single new wave pop music song repeated over and over, to an editor that seemed to really enjoy PCP, this was a dumpster fire from start to ridiculous end credit finish.

Tim’s Thoughts: I recommended this to Alex after watching it by myself and laughing almost nonstop. It is a spectacular failure, but it’s trying so hard, and that’s what makes this horrible horrible movie kind of fun to watch. I gave it a better rating because I enjoyed not only watching this, but telling people about it. It’s awful, the “werewolf” costumes are the worst I have ever seen, and the random wipe effects, and one second flashes of the same crappy were-lady make this a spectacle that you have to see to believe. Alex didn’t even mention the weird werewolf sex, that looks like some sort of horrible acting class experiment.

Final Thoughts: While we both agree this is bad, we also agree that you need to see it if you like bad movies. This is truly one of the worst, unlike Alex, I enjoyed it, while he kept sending me life-threatening messages while he watched it. If you want to get some friends together for a bad movie night, watch this one first, it will set the tone. If this sort of thing isn’t your bag, then this will probably be the only time you hear about this movie, and that will be enough.

Alex Rates This Movie 1/10

Tim Rates This Movie 6/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix Queue

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