Release Date: 9/3/2010 – Rated R

Starring: Danny Trejo (Desperado), Robert De Niro (Goodfellas), Steven Seagal (Cock Puncher)

Plot Summary: Mexican Federale Machete is left for dead after an ambush by a druglord.  Years later Machete is working as a day laborer in Texas when a car pulls up.  The man in the car offers machete $50k to kill a US senator, and is given no choice but to accept.  The assassination attempt fails however when someone else shots the senator and frames it on a militant mexican immigrant, guess who that is?  Machete is on the run from the entire US government and just wants to clear his name.  A US immigration agent (Jessica Alba) spots Machete at a taco truck owned by some one who is known to help illegal immigrants, and doesn’t think he is the killer he is being made out to be.  With the help of the US agent, the taco truck lady and his priest brother (Cheech Marin), he makes plans to go after the ones who set him up.  

Alex’s Thoughts:  When I saw the fake Grindhouse trailer for Machete, I wanted nothing more than for that to be a real movie; in fact I liked it more than either of the two movies I had paid to see.  From the opening scene to the ending credits this movie is all camp, and it’s pulled off great.  The supporting cast, with the exception of Lindsay Lohan, is perfect and very well cast.   This movie doesn’t take itself too serious but everything seemed to work out well.

Tim’s Thoughts: To be honest, I wanted movies made from all the grindhouse trailers, but none more that Machete, maybe it was because this is the one they showed first, or maybe just maybe, Robert Rodriguez and the movie gods heard my prayers. Machete is everything it should have been, cheesy gory, and hilarious. It doesn’t try to be anything it isn’t and that’s why it works, plain and simple, it’s action for action’s sake. The dialogue is purposely awful, and the action is so over the top you just have to laugh, and at the same time cheer on Machete!!! Alex and I disagree  but I think Black Dynamite is just a smidge better of a movie overall.

Final Thoughts: We can both agree that this movie is tons of fun, and is the perfect guy movie: tons of blood, boobs and action.  Sorry ladies, you might just want to sit this one out, as I don’t think you were the target audience, but if don’t take it too seriously (that goes for the guys too) you might just enjoy it.  So if you want to retain your Man Card, and have some fun in the process, you’ll need to see Machete.

Alex Rates this Movie 8/10

Tim Rates this Movie 8/10

“This?  This ain’t shit.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.